What Stefan Urquelle taught me about becoming a “lady again”

When I was a kid, I loved Family Matters. The show that starred the lovable and brilliant, Steve Urkel was a hit in the mid-’90s. At the time, it was just entertaining nonsense to me, but now as an adult, I see the genius behind the show.

Steve was a great guy, in his own right. He was funny (in my opinion), loyal, smart and friendly. However, the one woman that he was totally devoted to (the beautiful Laura Winslow) was not reciprocating his romantic advances.

So, what does he do?

He does the smartest thing that anyone can do, and the one thing that most people refuse to do, he becomes the guy that everyone wants to be with. Most people don’t want to make a transformation of any kind, because they feel like it is “selling out” in some way or not being themselves. I want to distinguish between that idea and what Steve did by turning into Stefan Urquelle (his swag-tastic alter ego).

What I believe Steve was doing by transforming into Stefan is what many people in the marketing world do called “rebranding your image.” This does not mean that you are a different person, it only means that you are taking what you’re already offering and repackaging it into something that more people will be willing to try.

The fact of the matter is that if your goal is to get married (for example) and they way you look or behave makes the people you are attracted to not want to even talk to you, then what makes you think they will ever even try to get to know you.

A lot of us lie to ourselves and say that “well, if they don’t want to talk to me because of what I look like, then they don’t like me for who I am and I don’t want to be with them anyway.”

While this is true sometimes, it’s not always true.

cloudsA lot of times, what people really need is for you to be repackaged into something that they are willing to listen to. It’s like Mary Poppins says “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!” What she’s saying is what all women interested in become “ladies again” need to embrace, which is that nobody is going to listen to you if they can’t even look at you.

I hope I can talk more in the future about how to be universally appealing without losing your identity, but for now, I’ll leave you with this message about repackaging the outside so that people will be willing to look inside!

What changes do you think you need to make to become a “Lady Again”? We’d love to hear from you, and we’d love to help! Just leave us a comment.

Author: African Femininity

African Femininity is a first generation American-born Nigerian. That basically means, her parents were immigrants and raised her with a mix of selective cultural values from both traditions. Needless to say, this left her with a very dissonant understanding of what being a “lady” meant. Now, as an un-married 30 year old woman, she is on a mission to delve to the root of being a woman in a world where conflicting cultural values and traditions are leaving many confused and disillusioned. She use the power of the pen to defend a woman’s right to choose her own lifestyle: be it housewife, social climber or being conventionally employed. Check out her Amazon author page for books written by her at http://amazon.com/author/shadowjackson

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