36 Ways to Make Anyone Fall in Love

Drawing of heart.

Love is an action, not an accident. Or, so that’s what psychologist Arthur Aron found 20 years ago when he figured out a way to make two people fall in love in his study “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness” (pdf). In the study, two complete strangers walked into a lab, asked each other a series of questions and fell in love. The questions asked forced the participants to expose their own vulnerabilities, creating a sense of impromptu closeness. A key part of the study was the eye contact–participants held their gaze between asking questions for 2-4 minutes at a time.

The study should be reviewed by individuals in the dating market. You too can create your own love experiment by using questions from the same study. The questions increase in difficulty, making one more probing than the next. Remember to hold your gaze when asking the questions! I’ve shared them below for your own love trials:

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last
60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would
you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you
are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five
items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other
people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important
for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not
say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most
regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you
have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask
your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Read more: How to Get Divorced in 10 Easy Steps: “Dear Future Husband” Review

Author: Lilac Blue

Lilac Blue is writes about femininity, love and family in a world that has been drastically altered by industrialization, secularism, misandry and misogyny.

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