I’m beginning to see a common thread between much of the language used in popular culture about relationships between men and women. There seems to be a great deal of game playing going on. For every tip about “game” written on Red Pill/manosphere forums, there might be double the amount of language made available for women in popular music, self-help books and other sources. One book stands out as the pinnacle dating bible for women: “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right,” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider,” was published more than 20 years ago. Full of manipulative dating tips, such as wait for him to call and pretend to be busy, the book continues to be read widely in spite of its very obvious flaws. Why is game playing so popular among dating gurus?
I may have found my answer in the book “Red Flags: Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People” by Wendy L. Patrick. In the book, she relies on peer-reviewed studies to argue that game players in the sexual market tend to be psychopaths (they are now said to have “antisocial personality disorder” by mental health professionals). Psychopaths want to have sex quickly (ideally on the first date), keep their lovers at a distant, and prefer short-term relationships. Here’s what one study found:
Game playing may be characteristic of those high on psychopathy in that it provides the sufficient excitement and sensation these individuals hunger for (e.g., Mealey, 1995) or may keep individuals at arms length to maintain a short-term mating style (Jonason et al., 2009). The Dark Triad composite was also related to the adoption of the ludus style but this is likely the result of the psychopathy association. However, this is insightful to those who view the Dark Triad as a cluster of personality traits that may be part of a coordinated life strategy (Jonason et al., 2009).
Indeed, if we adopt this life strategy approach, the picture is more easily interpreted; the Dark Triad, latent measures of an exploitive cheater strategy, is manifested through only two love styles: ludus and pragma…..The pragma love style is also instructive about the role the Dark Triad play in how individuals manifest a fast life strategy, or a lifestyle characterized by a pursuit of short-term gains, aggressiveness, deviance, and selfishness as per Life History Theory (see Figueredo et al., 2006).
We know from many studies that game playing is not sustainable. In the long run, game playing does not help individuals find long-term happy relationships because those techniques help you to only find other individuals interested in short-term flings. As a mating strategy, it is assortive pairing at its finest!
I could be over-thinking things, or projecting my own feelings/emotional development, but it appears members of the Red Pill community have realized that game playing is not helping to connect with loyal and loving women. In a sad and ironic way, the games that they are using to attract and sleep with women are pulling them closer to the man-hating femininazis that they claim to hate. After all, “empowered” women are more likely than stable women to engage in casual sex with strangers.
Popular culture is still pushing game playing. And unfortunately, after years of growth, the Red Pill manosphere is only just beginning to realize that their desires for casual sex were illogical. One writer on Return of Kings wrote:
Since sex is a bonding experience that we cannot discount or nullify, it is madness to think that being sexually intimate with a large number of prospects or flings would make you more of a man, a better person, more fulfilled or stronger or better to any degree. Being a busy Cassanova doesn’t make you an alpha; strength of character does.
I was so excited to see Roosh V, Red Pill writer and founder of Return of Kings, realize the futility of his gaming:
I was so sure that casual sex was the pinnacle of modern man that I moved heaven and earth to develop a lifestyle where it would be easy for me, and I have achieved that lifestyle based on being mobile, emotionally untethered, and an attractive catch to foreign women. And yet now that I have achieved this, I feel worse after each new girl I have casual sex with, as if I’m hurting my spirit in ways that I don’t understand, in ways that didn’t feel harmful in the past. I decided not to contact her again.
Imagine my glee when I read that he had a change of heart! He also realized the consequences of his actions in another article:
Even the form of game that I taught early in my career, of one-night stands, was compatible with the depopulation agenda since reproduction would often not result from it. This meant that I was a useful idiot for many years.
As I’ve watched the Red Pill manosphere evolve, I’ve learned that it is hard work to deprogram from years of brainwashing about gaming, and it’s especially difficult for individuals who were raised without positive relationship role models. The lesson: If you are looking for a temporary relationship with a person who plays games, is withholding and manipulates you, then use common dating tactics. If you want something more permanent, recognize that game playing is not going to get you want to want.
Author: Lilac Blue
Lilac Blue is writes about femininity, love and family in a world that has been drastically altered by industrialization, secularism, misandry and misogyny.