Cat calls are awesome! When did compliments become offensive?!

resized_homophobe-kevin-hart-meme-generator-stop-just-stop-your-stupidity-is-too-much-11432a
Stop it, feminists. You’re upsetting Kevin Hart!

So, word around town is that feminist extremists (who ruin everything about femininity) also want to kill compliments too! Their new agenda is to wipe any memory of the fact that women were once uniquely beautiful in their own special way off the map!

A bunch of them got together and whipped up this stupid ass public service announcement on behalf of ugly women everywhere! Newsflash, butterfaces, I know compliments are not something you’re used to, but get over yourself, OK! Nobody agrees with you!

Compliments are awesome no matter where they’re coming from.

I know it’s not often that these Vampirish women get complimented, but let me offer you a clue: if a man decides to let you know that you look nice, say “thank you”, smile and/or just keep moving. If he didn’t touch you, it’s not harassment!

Furthermore, if you’re afraid to leave your house, carry pepper spray and the number to a psychiatric clinic. It’s just like the femi-nazis to try to convince women everywhere that they’re in constant danger by the bogeymen waiting around the corner!

Oh, and guess what! If you’re wearing booty shorts, men are going to look at your ass! Period. The end. We definitely did not need your hidden camera to reveal that when women reveal their bodies, MEN LOOK!

Seriously?! Nakedness is for sex. Are we really trying to police people’s brains now? If you don’t want men fantasizing about your body, PUT CLOTHES ON!

But, honestly, they’re going to look either way. And they’re going to compliment you. So, here’s another little tip, LEARN SOME FUCKING SOCIAL SKILLS so you know how to fucking handle HUMAN INTERACTIONS!

Not all men want to rape you, my friends. They really don’t. And here’s the trick, sweety, THEY WON’T DO IT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!

In all sincerity, though. Ladies, just practice general safety if you want to be safe.

  • Don’t follow strangers to strange places.tumblr_lvpausW5sE1qaydnc
  • Don’t get piss drunk or high, especially not alone
  • Don’t walk around in strange neighborhoods alone by yourself

I know some of this sounds harsh, but I want these crackpots to understand how serious the accusations they are making are. Before you know it, somebody will listen to these women and people’s sons and brothers will be in jail or fined for…doing what? Giving compliments?!

MANOSPHERE blogs are right once again when it comes to this issue (see video below)!

Even though I’m a woman, I agree very much with the above video. Especially how he points out that the woman walked down the street and DOZENS of men and women walked passed her and only ONE man mildly slowed down to glance in her direction. That is not harassment, friends. That’s flirting.

(Disclaimer: Although, I’m not a fan of how the guy in the second video seems to feel about lower income communities, he makes an excellent point about how ludicrous these femi-nazis are)

Read Next: What Steve Urkel taught me about becoming a Lady Again

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Men Admit What We All Know: Career Women Suck

Career Woman
Career Woman
Having a powerful career will only make motherhood harder.

Manosphere blog Return of Kings published one of this week’s best articles, titled “Career Women Are Pretending To Be Men.”

The article simply states what all intelligent women already know–career women are terrible, sad misguided individuals who have been brainwashed to prioritize money over their families and children. Who wants to wait until they are 58 to have deformed special needs children? Answer: Career women. Who wants to wake up early to shuttle their infant children to overcrowded daycare centers? Career women. Who thinks they can stay young and fertile forever? Sadly, career women.

Luckily, manosphere writers frequently discuss the myth of the successful career woman. We have a special love of manosphere blogs here at Ladies Again because those are often one of the few places where men speak candidly about love, dating and marriage. Best of all, manosphere writers provide solid feedback that women can grow and learn from. While some of the articles are outlandish and obviously click-bait chum, many articles help feminine women learn more about the male psyche. At the core, manosphere websites agree with some of the same philosophies as blogs written by conservative and feminine writers in that they all argue that today’s “women’s movement” is actually just misandry.

Additionally, manosphere writers agree that the sexual revolution has created a raw deal for women by giving men more power to dictate the terms and conditions of sexual relationships (these men enjoy taking advantage of all of the easy sex). Thanks to feminism, traditional marriage and childbearing are out, while rampant promiscuity is more popular than ever. Thanks a lot feminist.

If you’re new to the manosphere concept, try reading the following articles to start:

Isn’t this snippet from Return of Kings the truth?

Men do not want to marry some tired-out late 30s bossy middle management troll, who’s only a few years shy of menopause and needs $50,000 of IVF treatments just to have a 3-month premature spawn. This is an abuse of technology that should be outlawed. The world is awash with starving children—how can any sane person force their body to have children under the current global circumstances, when they made a life choice to sacrifice their fertile years for a career?

If feminism wanted to do something positive for the world, it would have backed women to have real training from 16-20 in areas of childcare, homemaking and so forth, while encouraging men to knock up young hot wives and build families and communities. A couple of my female friends have diplomas in catering and hospitality and they do a damn fine job as homemakers.

As the man ages he’s less likely to stray, still having a young pretty wife and feeling comfortable in a solid family base, in which both partners are happy and the woman has plenty of time in her later years to find herself a suitable career and avoid the empty nest syndrome or empty call of cougardom. What’s more, her income would give the man the chance to spend more time at home when the kids are older, less childish, and more in need of male authority, as opposed to feminine supervision.

Feminism’s role in the decline

Feminism encourages women to throw away their best years slutting it up in university and some dead-end career she either fails at or winds up compromised in because of children. It demotivates men by watering down the workplace and universities, while giving them little incentive to be successful and build a family and community. There are natural laws that cannot be changed. Instead of trying to compete with men, feminism could have looked for solutions in which all parties win.

You cannot argue with the truth, and the manosphere is just articulating ideas that all traditional women know are true. And we thank them for saying what needs to be said.

Read next: Flexible Jobs for Women

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Want to Avoid Rape? Try Drinking Safely

Drunk young woman resting head on bar counterHere’s a shocking statistic: Approximately one half of all sexual assault victims report that they were drinking alcohol at the time of the assault, with estimates ranging from 30 to 79 percent. The connection between alcohol consumption and rape cannot be ignored. Imagine if half of all cough syrup takers reported being raped! There are several reasons why alcohol has been linked to sexual assault. First, alcohol has been linked to cognitive impairments that reduce an individual’s ability to evaluate risk. The drug can cause cognitive deficits that contribute to the misperception of the woman’s cues in such a way that the man perceives her as being more sexually encouraging than she really is because of alcohol’s effects on his cognitive functioning.

Second, alcohol in particular can cause motor impairments that reduce the ability to function (or resist) effectively. Third, alcohol is typically consumed in great quantities around strangers. For those reasons, alcohol, it seems, is a rapist’s drug of choice. In fact, predators may even drink themselves silly to justify forcing a woman to have sex with them. One study found that heavy drinkers may routinely use intoxication as an excuse for engaging in socially unacceptable behavior, including sexual assault.

Woman urinatingFurthermore, rapists tend to troll in bars, parties and clubs where female drinkers are present. Sexually assaultive men tend to describe women who drink in bars as “loose,” immoral women who are appropriate targets for sexual aggression. Sexual assaults involving alcohol are more likely to occur between men and women who do not know each other well (dates, hookups) than among spouses or partners. Furthermore, alcohol-involved sexual assaults tend to occur at parties or in bars, rather than in either person’s home. If there’s a bartender present, you can assume that a sexual predator on the hunt for incoherent victims is in close proximity.

Here’s a truth we all know: Alcohol consumption can put women in positions where they will have a difficult time defending themselves from predatory rapists. That is the reality. I’m not writing this article to blame rape victims, only to discuss ways to minimize the risk of being raped. I first learned about the connection between alcohol consumption and rape during my freshman year of college, when I participated in a trial campus program developed to educate young women on the dangers of binge drinking (I went to a Catholic Jesuit college).

It was in that semester-long program that I learned that alcohol is a rapist’s wet dream, a tool used to coax incoherent and vulnerable women (and sometimes men) into frightening situations. Alcohol provides a double-whammy for rapists—first, the drug impacts an individual’s ability to evaluate risk, and second, the drug causes brain impairments that hinder a victim’s ability to protect themselves (the most prevalent alcohol-associated brain impairments affect visuospatial abilities, which include perceiving and remembering the relative locations of objects in 2- and 3-dimensional space). It’s been years since I participated in the program and I still minimize my drinking while in the presence of strangers to this day.

To be fair, it’s very easy for me to tout the benefits of partying sober, since I hardly ever drink—I drink maybe four times per year, if that. At this point, I’m used to ordering a glass of water at birthday parties and office happy hours. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of the sensation of being drunk and I am actually terrified of getting premature wrinkles from alcohol consumption (Side note: Alcohol is a diuretic that causes the body to lose water. That can contribute to dry skin and dilate blood vessels).

During those rare instances when I do drink alcohol or smoke marijuana, it’s usually in the private home of a trusted friend of family member. So, when I party with friends at nightclubs, I’m ordering a glass of water with lemon. So what if it makes me look like a prude? At least I’m safe.

Ladies: Take the Pledge

I propose that individuals (male or female) take the pledge to avoid drinking in places where strangers are present. Taking a pledge of this sort is not much different than deciding to adhere to other safety precautions, such as locking your home doors or protecting your credit card numbers. Yes, it would be great to live on a planet free from rape, burglary and identify theft, but that is not a reality. The reality of the world is that you must take precautions to protect your survival, and choosing to prioritize your safety by limiting your public drinking is a wise choice to make. It’s not worth the risk to your mental and physical health to drink recklessly in public.

Besides minimizing the chances of rape, there are a few solid benefits to vowing to stay sober in public:

Drink ResponsiblyYou make better decisions. According to the National Institutes of Health, mild-to-moderate drinking can adversely affect cognitive functioning, such as mental activities involving acquiring, storing, retrieving and using information. One of the most frustrating things about watching “Drink Responsibly” advertisements is that the commercials assume that intoxicated individuals have the ability to make careful or intelligent decisions about their well-being. They are drunk! Furthermore, one study conducted by John Hopkins found that in 88 percent of cases, drink responsible messages reinforced promotion of the advertised product.

Sobriety saves you from embarrassment. I am a sloppy, horrible drunk, and I admit it. I am a lightweight female (I’ve always been slightly underweight), and I know that it only takes a small bit of alcohol to make me drunk. With the proliferation of social media and smartphones, it is safe to assume that there are cameras everywhere. If you are sloppy drunk in public at a bar or office party, someone is likely going to record you at some point. Once an embarrassing photo is taken and posted online, it will likely be seen by your family, your friends and your employers (or potential employers). “Isn’t it cute to post a picture of how wasted Dan was last night?” No, no it isn’t.

Drinking is cheaper at home. The average cost of a martini (bought in a hotel) in New York City is $19. Isn’t that crazy! Who wants to pay an arm and a leg to drink around strangers (and potential rapists)? Even when I used to drink frequently at bars, I hated having to paying bartenders exorbitant amounts of money for drinks. Your wallet will thank you if you drink at home.

There are, however, downsides to pledging to stay sober in public, namely wasting money on expensive drinks and shutting yourself out of getting blackout drunk and hooking up with someone who really doesn’t care about you. Oops, it looks like those are not really downsides!

Take the “sober in public” pledge people.

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Thoughts on Calvin

Photo by Ben Raynal via Flickr.
Photo by Ben Raynal via Flickr.
Photo by Ben Raynal via Flickr.

If the majority of women consider hooking up to be incredibly unsatisfying and unfulfilling, why do they continue to do it? This is what I thought about when I came across Hooking Up Smart, a relationship and dating site run by consultant Susan Walsh. As I read through all of the informative blog posts, I felt a rush of vivid memories flood back I had a random sexual encounter one, with a person when I was in college (half a decade ago), and I’m, still filled with regret. Regret that I moved so quickly with someone I barely knew (he was a mutual friend and we hooked up the night we met), regret that I never got to show him that I’m was not a whore in real life.

I was 21 years old at the time of the hookup, and I suddenly felt guilty about being overly conservative as I listened to all my other friends shared the details of their sexual conquests. The guy, lets call him Calvin, was my second sexual experience. I had a long-term boyfriend in high school, and had not dated anyone for the first two years of college. For most of my time in college, I was mainly concerned with keeping my academic scholarship and graduating school on time. I also did not drink much alcohol, which pretty basically much took me out of the binge-focused campus dating scene. But I did feel lonely at times and I wondered if I was truly making the best of my “young and fun” years by studying with friends every night in the library.

I decided in the final months leading up to my graduation from college that I was going to take life by the balls and give in to the feminist mantras mantras playing in the back of my mind: It’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it. Women can be sexually adventurous, too. Sometimes sex can just be casual with no strings attached. Every girl needs a booty call…

So, I drank more. I partied more. I smoked more. And I flirted a lot more. One night, I went over to my friend’s house to pregame (i.e., drink heavily before you drink heavily at a second location) and my friend introduced me to Calvin, who lived in her dormitory building. I knew instantly that he was attracted to me by the way he smiled and played with his chest. We both ended up making out at a party while we were drunk out of our minds. Later that night, after house party hopping for a few hours, we ended back a his dorm, where we tried to have very awkward sex. I was too nervous to have full-fledged vaginal intercourse with Calvin (someone I did not know) so I ended up fooling around (orally, if you get my drift). After he passed out, I sneaked out and went back to my suite. The next day, we both shared the details of the night’s sexual encounter with our mutual friends―I talked about his penis size, while he told friends that he wasn’t impressed with the lack of sex.

When I found out what he said about my reservations about full-on sex, I was furious and horribly embarrassed. And, I assume, that he was embarrassed about what I said about him as well. I also found out an additional detail: We didn’t event get intimate in his room; the deed took place on his friend’s roommate’s bed, who was out of town that weekend. Ugh. After the hookup, I could feel the disapproving stares from his friends. Since he was a mutual friend, I had to see a whole lot more Calvin against my own best wishes―I went with him to a few house parties, at group dinners and on shopping runs. Socializing with him was strange and awkward. The sad thing is that I thought he was actually pretty cute. At one point, I wanted to scream and say “I’m actually not loose! I’m quite conservative!” But the truth is that I was acting promiscuous in that moment. And I blew any chance with getting to know him without all of the awkwardness.

I decided then to never hook up with someone again, namely because:

  1. Sex is horrible: I think sex should be about intimacy and caring, and a sexual hookup skips over all of the intimacy that makes sex enjoyable. It’s also a strange thing to do something so personal with someone you do not know well. There is no way that sex between strangers will be as intimate, passionate or loving as sex between people who genuinely care for one another. Some research confirms that hookup sex is bad: One study found that only 40 percent of women had an orgasm during their last hookup involving intercourse, while 80 percent of men did. Roughly three quarters of women in the survey said they had an orgasm the last time they had sex in a committed relationship. I would much rather have sex with someone I love.
  2. Pregnancy risk: No form of birth control is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, which makes having sex with complete strangers extremely risky. There’s also the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, which makes hooking up scary and irresponsible. As someone who was raised by an overworked single mother, I have no interest in becoming a single mother myself.
  3. Loss of value: Men like to the chase of meeting and pursuing attractive women, and hooking up is a surefire way to make sure you never hear from the guy again. Getting pumped and dumped wears on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth.

My negative hookup experience is fairly common for most women. Studies have shown that sex is better if there’s an emotional component. Research involving 600 college students led by an evolutionary biologist at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and researchers at Binghamton University found that women were twice as likely to reach orgasm from intercourse or oral sex in serious relationships as in hookups.

So why do women do it? My guess is that women hook up for any kind of affection. Traditional dating is not happening anymore on college campuses, so the promiscuous hookup culture of getting drunk and having sex with strangers is often the only way for women to interact with single men. Yes, there (supposedly) may be women who say that they enjoy casual sex with strangers, but those women are certainly not the majority. I’ve never met one of those women in my entire life―have you?. Studies show that they majority of women want long-term and respectful relationships. I certainly do.

Five years after the experience, I now know this: My hookup certainly was not a one-night stand inconsequential event. I remember the experience wildly and I am still filled with regret. I will not be hooking up again.

Did you actually enjoy a hookup experience and expect nothing afterward? Share your hookup story below.

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The Hidden Feminist Agenda of Disney Princesses

2013disneyprincessSoft, musical voices, long flowing hair and dreams that “someday (their) prince will come” sounds like the farthest thing from a feminist agenda that one could imagine.

In fact, some of the looniest of the feminist blogs decry the “helpless” nature of the female stars of most Disney movies.

However, I see things differently. There is a particular staunchly feminist message in every one of the Disney movies and whether you see this message as a positive one or a negative one, it’s presence is undeniable.

 

Many feminists (who most likely grew up watching these movies) don’t recognize that it was this ubiquitous message that ignited their passion for female “liberation” in the first place.

This hidden yet ever-present message is simply this: that “being content in your own skin is not enough, because true happiness comes from outside of yourself”.

Wait, what?! You ask. How do they say this, and even if they do, what’s wrong with that? And further more, how is this a feminist message?

Slow down, Speedy Gonzales! One question at a time.

First off: How do they say this?

The Little Mermaid – A young girl (mermaid) is discontent with life in her father’s wealthy palace where she gets waited on and doted upon by a loving, king father and all of his servants; so she chases a fantasy of what life would be like if only she could be completely transformed even to the point of risking a potentially fatal procedure to live outside of her biological predestination.

Mulan – Shaves off all of her hair and pretends to be a man. Need I say more?

Beauty and the Beast – Belle lives a peaceful and fulfilling life in a quiet village where she spends most of her time reading books and complaining of boredom (even as she walks through the beautiful town full of friendly townspeople who all know her by name and happily greet her).

Snow White – Cohabitation with multiple strange men sans wedlock (because that’s not dangerous for a single, estranged woman to do at all, right?!)

Cinderella – Sneaking out at night for a date…

Pocahontas – A woman chasing the right to “choose” ends up confused about her vocation and reconciled to singlehood.

Ok, so What’s wrong with that?

Essentially, what I’m trying to help you realize through this article is that these movies are (intentionally or not) painting a picture that to be a woman, no matter how comfortable the circumstances, somehow means to be in a state of “oppression” and/or “repression” and as a result women should be seeking liberation.

Think about what exactly such a message does in the mind a young suburban teen who has been watching Cinderella all throughout her youth and reaches high school age where she is asked to do chores around the house when she sees her classmates going to house parties to tempt college men to commit felony misdemeanors. It will be pretty difficult to convince such a girl that her life at home with her parents, uplifting and benefiting her immediate community is of as significant importance as time spent exercising her “freedom”.

Or consider, the young college-aged child of immigrant parents who grew up innocently watching the Little Mermaid just like all the other Americans. All of a sudden, when it’s time to make decisions about her future, all the messages she grew up with seem wrong, because most adults only want to oppress young women and a woman is supposed to pursue a life outside of what she knows.

So, you ask “what’s wrong with that”… There is so much wrong with that it deserves it’s own book. Raising a young person to believe that what they know and all that they are is somehow inadequate or incomplete sets them on an endless and fruitless course of seeking a poorly defined (if defined at all) ideal of what she should aspire to be (and aspire for all of her kind). And perhaps this is the goal of some, to break others of any sense of internally-based validation so as to make them susceptible to any and all messages about who and what can provide a sense of self worth. And therein lies the problem.

How is this a Feminist message

Lilac and I have agreed that the term “feminist” is an inadequate word to use in describing the pedagogical dictators who believe that they have some kind of all-encompassing wisdom about the needs and desires at the heart of every female’s core and only they have the solution to this terribly debilitating need that results from an inherent sense of lack that all women everywhere feel that results from nothing more than being a woman. Further more, the term “feminist” is weighted with emotional and experiential implications that vary as widely as the people who hear or read that word. However, for lack of a more adequate term, we will be using this one to refer to the aforementioned “dictators”.

To the “feminists” of the type described above, to be a woman is to be oppressed no matter how happy you “think” you are. [Irony alert: Isn’t “happiness” a state of mind? So, how can you be confused about how you feel? Apparently these guys have telepathic abilities so strong that they not only know what you’re thinking and feeling, but also know what you didn’t know you were thinking and feeling!] These same omniscient beings believe that men are somehow hoarding all the happy-producing experiences for themselves. So, women should go find where men are keeping these happiness givers and collect their share.

girl proposalThis brand of “feminists” mask this ideology by pushing ideas like “freedom” and “equality” as things women are being deprived of and should be chasing after. Somehow, this freedom women should be seeking means running away from your current status as though out of a burning building only the building is in tact and your future would have been promising if you had only stayed put and recognized your blessings. This “equality” they urge us to fight for is to become like men, even when that means giving up what intrinsically makes you a woman. Don’t get married or have children, or at least not until you have proven to the men in your life that you are better than them! Yes, deflate their ego by emasculating them and while you’re at it, propose marriage to one of them too! (cuz they sure won’t be offering you any rings, Xena Warrior Princess!)

 

So, let’s summarize…

  1. The Disney Princesses come from a culture so obsessed with chasing “freedom” that it doesn’t recognize that it’s not in chains (or at least the chains are not of the kind from which they are seeking to be freed).
  2. Modern feminist extremists are pushing a type of freedom that urges women to do something (anything) other than what they are currently doing, even if what they are currently doing is perfectly fine and healthy and even if the other thing is engaging in dangerous behavior. In fact, the more dangerous the behavior the more worthwhile it is to engage in. Whether it is pursuing a relationship with a  likely violent beast or engaging in risky sexual encounters with multiple partners, the risk doesn’t matter as long as you’re not “bored”!

Read Next: Why is it OK for Men to Sleep around and not Women?

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Woman Takes Husband’s Last Name, Nutty Feminists Get Upset

Amal Clooney in her wedding dress
Amal Clooney in her wedding dress
Amal Clooney in her wedding dress

George Clooney’s wife, Amal, took her husband’s last name this week, and the feminist nutjobs came out in full force (which just basically means they tweeted or reblogged one another furiously). I normally do not have a problem ignoring celebrity “news” in the media, but this story caught my eye because a seemingly credible major outlet published a judgmental article from an angry feminist. In a column (I’m not linking to the article because I don’t want to give the garbage article any more pageviews), nosy “reporter” Nicole Lyn Pesce wrote “Amal Clooney’s name change divides women on a key feminist issue.”

Pesce’s statement is bogus on three levels: First, it’s none of Pesce’s business what a celebrity’s spouse chooses to do with their own name. The fact that Pesce would think that a celebrity name change would have the power to divide women is actually pathetic. Second, if a woman, decides to change her last name to match her husband’s last name, that is her choice. It is beyond me how a feminist could dismiss a woman’s right to control own her own name and image. As a feminist writer, shouldn’t Pesce automatically respect that a woman has a right to do what she wishes with her body and name? But no, respecting the decisions and opinions of others doesn’t fit the feminist agenda. Only they know what is best for all women. Feminists have the magical power to know what all women think and feel. Forget about the fact that Amal may be elated to become George Clooney’s wife. Columnist Amy Alkon agrees with this sentiment by calling feminism a form of authoritarianism:

Maybe you just think it’s nice to signal “My life has changed” by going in for an old tradition and taking your husband’s name. This is especially appealing if your name used to be Ahmadinejad…or…something, and your husband has a nice, easy, roll-off-the-tongue name like Clooney.

But, Noooooooo!…this absolutely cannot be, according to the dictates of the fundamentalists populating feminism. And, in case you were wondering, that’s because feminism isn’t about women having choices — it’s about feminists bullying women into making the choices feminists think they should.
family unit

Finally, Pesce’s comments are symbolic of a larger trend being propelled by modern feminism: the rejection of the family unit. When a spouse (man or woman, does not matter either way) changes their last name, they formalize the family unit. With a name change, two individual people with their own lives become one step closer to complete cohesiveness. Individuals morph into the Joneses, the Smiths and McGruires. There is nothing shameful about taking the last name of your spouse, and it’s pitiful that a writer would use her high-profile platform to try to admonish Amal Clooney for solidifying her marriage to her husband.

But there is hope: When it comes to name changes, the feminist agenda appears to be losing steam. In 2011, TheKnot.com surveyed 19,000 newlywed women and found that only 8 percent kept their last names; 86 percent took their husbands’ names, with the remaining 6 percent presumably modifying or hyphenating.

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