Ladies are Always on Time

Woman Rushing

You’re meeting a friend for dinner, and you were supposed to be there at 2:00 p.m. Traffic is moving at a turtle’s pace. You rush to park and you run into the restaurant sweaty and flustered. It’s 2:47 p.m. and you’re late again. Sound familiar?

If you’re like me, you may have had similar struggles getting to places on time. I call it being “punctually-challenged.” Getting anywhere has always been a very serious struggle for me. I’ve been late to dinners, weddings, graduations, exams, and hair appointments. I have always known that I have had a problem with punctuality, but I did not seriously confront the issue until I missed a flight earlier this year, and I had to pay quite a bit of money to buy a last-minute replacement ticket. Not only did I have to pay for the extra ticket, but I missed an important meeting because of the flight delay.

Eventually, I had to admit the truth: Regardless of the exact reasons for my tardiness, my inability to show up on time was turning me into a person who was unreliable, rude and inconsiderate. These are all qualities that are neither feminine nor caring. Even though I may have had very legitimate reasons for being late from time to time, it was ultimately my fault I was late at the end of the day. I could have added more time to my schedule to prepare, and I chose not to do so.

Never Be Late book cover.
Never Be Late book cover.

All hope is not lost, because there are a number of ways to curtail frequent tardiness. To learn how to improve my timeliness skills, I sought out Diana DeLonzor’s book “Never Be Late Again: 7 Cures for the Punctuality Challenged.” In the book, DeLonzor describes a few of the root causes of lateness and procrastination, such as genetics, anxiety, attention deficit disorders and indulgent childhood experiences. Some people are thrill-seekers who need a sense of urgency to get things done, while others have a hard time saying “no” to meetings and tasks. DeLonzor argues that punctually-challenged people have time management issues for a variety of issues, such as a lack of discipline and goal-setting skills. Additionally, DeLonzor states that a large number of procrastinators have time perception issues, where they think that it takes less time than it actually does to complete work assignments.

The first step to curing tardiness issues is to take responsibility for your lateness. Decide that it is unacceptable to be late. When you decide to meet at a particular time, you are making a promise to your friends and employers to be responsible. Start to think of lateness as a “promise broken or as a loan unpaid.”

“Many people rationalize their lateness by attributing it to factors beyond their control or by minimizing the selfishness of the act,” DeLonzor writes in the book. “Yet in failing to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions, we hamper efforts to improve.”

The next step of curbing your lateness is to change the way that you think about waiting time, such as when you are early or bored. I had an issue getting places early because I did not want to just sit around and wait for the other person to arrive. After all, bored time is wasted time, right? Wrong! Fill that time doing something that you like to do, such as reading a magazine. You can write in a journal when you have free time. Or just look out at the sunset. I now carry a small book with me everywhere so that I can always read in my extra down time. Always plan to get to your meeting early, rather than exactly on time. Aim to get places 10-30 minutes early, that way you have a buffer in case something goes wrong that causes a delay in your schedule.

Find a way to say “no!” to yourself by repeating a personal mantra. Procrastinators tend to pile on activities to fill their day, so they often convince themselves that they can get everything done smoothly, even when they cannot. DeLonzor explains:

“Create a mantra to curb your optimism. Instead of saying ‘If I hurry, I can …,’ slow down for a few minutes, take a deep breath and think about what you’re doing. Then repeat one of the following mantras: ‘Am I being realistic or optimistic?’ ‘Am I doing too much?’ ‘Is this something I really need to do now?'”

DeLonzor offers a number of exercises to help the punctually-challenged curtail their timeliness issues. Overall, it’s a great read for anyone who has experienced issues getting places on time.

What are your strategies for getting places on time? Share them in the comments below?

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Ladies Again is two years old! We started the site two years ago to bring a voice to women who hold traditional views and reject misandry, and we’re still going strong. How are you staying up-to-date with our news and feature articles? Here’s how to get the latest from Ladies Again:

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The Worst Role Model

Huma Abedin
Huma Abedin
Huma Abedin

With the U.S. presidential election coming up in a few weeks, much of the world’s attention is focused on learning more about Hillary Clinton. While there’s quite a bit that could be written about Clinton, the Hildabeast that may likely become the first female president of America, I’d like to focus on a more interesting character in the Clinton circle: Huma Abedin, Clinton’s her right-hand woman and professional aide.

Never before have I seen a woman made up of so many contradictions and twisting plotlines. She is so polished and calculating, but made of so many mistakes. On many levels, I am fascinated by Abedin because her life has taken a course that I no interest in following. She is the opposite of a role model. If anything, she serves as a public guideline for how not to live.

The first and foremost mistake that Abedin has made is that she married a scheming, lying sham of a man, named Anthony Weiner. Heard of him? He’s the former New York congressman who was first caught texting another woman (outside of his marriage to Abedin) while running for public office. I originally dismissed the first texting scandal as temporary marital strife in the Weiner home, and none of my personal business. But then, he got caught texting his penis a second time shortly after the incident.

At the time, I thought, it was just bad timing. He probably should have known not to do it again, especially so soon to the first texting incident. He was laughed out of Congress. Then, years later, Weiner attempted to make a comeback by running for mayor of New York City, but was caught sexting other women again! His bid for mayor failed. Then most recently, he was caught texting a photo of his penis to a woman—while his infant son lie on the bed next to him.

Anthony Weiner sexting.
Weiner sexting

Weiner flagrant extramarital affairs were hard to understand. It was even harder to understand why Abedin remained so loyal to him, especially given the negative impact that her association with Weiner could have had on her career. And what kind of person would marry someone as crazy as Weiner in the first place? I can think of two theories: First, she wanted to stay married for her son’s benefit and/or marriage is frowned upon by her family. Second, she may have thought that being faithful and loyal to Weiner will make her look like a hero in the long run, because after all, it worked so well for Hillary after the Bill Clinton affair.

The last theory is the most probable I think, but it’s hard to imagine why someone would stay married to a man who continued to disrespect her. Lastly, Abedin might also be crazy or egomaniacal too, and just wanted to be married to someone powerful. Was it possible that Abedin is just as unstable as Weiner? It turns out that Abedin may have known that he was a bad apple from the very beginning. In an interview, Abedin said that she walked out on Weiner on their first date. And yet, she married him even still.

The second crazy thing about her is her unwavering dedication to Hillary Clinton. I do not want to get on a soapbox about how wrong Clinton is for the country, but I know that anyone who is an ally with her is also probably wrong too. Abedin has testified in court in defense of Clinton, and she even had Clinton preside over her wedding, for goodness sake.

Lastly, Abedin is, in all outward aspects, a very feminine woman. She understands the importance of color-coding and matching, and she makes sure that her hair and makeup looks fantastic on a regular basis. I think it is wonderful that she takes care of herself, but it’s also a bit contradictory that she works in such a cut-throat industry. After all, her work with Clinton at Department of State involved conversations about drone strikes, refugee camps and military interventions. Not so glamorous. Nevertheless, Vogue recognized her many years ago for her sense of fashion, but neglected to discuss the much seedier side of the work that she does everyday.

Abedin may now have it all together in her personal life, but her professional life is most certainly on a steep incline (after all, we know that women can’t really have it all). It is shocking that a woman who made such a poor choice by marrying and staying loyal to Weiner may soon serve as the top aide to the president of the United States. As more and more women turn away from feminism, I hope that they will look to Abedin as an example of how not to live.

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Signs of the Serial Dater

When you’re dating, one of the worst things that can happen is when you think the date went well and you later find out that your interest was not reciprocated by the other person. Sometimes, the other person was not attracted to you physically, and there is nothing you can do to change their minds about that issue once the date has already taken place (after all, you only get one chance to make a first impression and hygiene is important for everyone). But other times, the person did not want to go on a second date with you because they did not feel the “elusive” spark that they were hoping to feel on the first date. What is the spark exactly?

Very few people can define “the spark.” Oftentimes, it is used to refer to the sexual attraction between two people. Other times, it can mean feeling as though you both clicked in terms of personality compatibility. Ultimately, looking for the spark is a lost cause because you need to spend a few hours getting to know someone to determine whether you have similar goals, personality characteristics, sexual values and ethics. One date is not going to help you determine if you are compatible with the other person. Worst still, a person who is making dating decisions based solely on physical attraction may not be willing to do the work later on that it takes to sustain a healthy relationship when times get tough. It is a waste of time to date people who are looking for the elusive spark.

If you are serious about dating for marriage, your number one priority should be to find ways to filter out daters who are looking for the romantic spark. After all, those people tend to be serial daters who go on an endless number of dates because they are looking for an instant connection. These are the people who find ways to squeeze in four or five dates each week. So what are the signs that your date is a serial dater who is looking for instant chemistry?

They Push for the First Date

You can always tell that the person is a serial dater because they do not waste any time getting you to agree to going on a date. While it is boring and inefficient to wait weeks and sometimes months to agree to go on a date, serial daters want to go on a date before they spent any time getting to know you. You’ve seen them before in nightclubs―you return their glance, make eye contact for a few seconds and they come over and ask for your number. And if you have ever tried online dating, you have received their messages before. You wink and them and they ask if you are free for coffee tomorrow.

The serial dater gets excited by the randomness of searching for the romantic spark, so they will reach out to anyone to see if a romantic connection is possible. These daters have not learned yet that it is better to call dates on the phone to screen them first to check for personality and value compatibility. If you recognize them online or on the street, just move on because they will waste your time.

Flirting couple in cafe using digital tablet
No one has this much fun on a coffee date.

I’m sharing an actual conversation I have had with a serial dater. We met for coffee in a cramped coffee shop. The meeting was long, boring, and I realized that I did not spend any time getting to know the person before the date. (I also learned that coffee dates are the worst kind of dates you can have because they are cold and unromantic). We met once and never met again. Here’s the conversation that lead up to the date:

Me: [I winked at him on a dating site]
Him: Are you off tomorrow? Want to meet at a cafe somewhere and play some chess?
Me: (I ignore his invite) You might have the best profile I’ve seen thus far. Great photos.
Him: Thanks! I’m not that cool all the time in real life, but I try to do some interesting things…

[We talk about work and school for a few messages]

Him: So I’m out great at online messaging, you want to meet up in real life for a coffee or something?
Me: Sure.

As you can see from the above conversation, his first message out of the gate (!) was a request to go out for coffee before he knew my name, or whether I believed in Jesus or Ganesh, or if I wanted kids. I should have ignored his message and realized that he was looking for the romantic spark.

They Will Just KNOW

Another sign of the serial dater is that they feel like they will just know when they connect with someone. They do not believe that love can grow between two people over time. When it comes to love with the serial dater, either they feel it or they don’t. They are ultimately impulsive, and less likely to delay gratification. I have experienced this before, since I’ve met a few serial daters during my Red Pill Diary dating experience over the past year. You can see this during the date if they are impatient and want to schedule a date with you right away. And during the date, you know you are with a serial dater if they tell you that they feel connected with you right away.

What I Learned

You can take a few steps to recognize the serial dater.

  1. First, always call him first before the date to see if you actual enjoy talking to the person. Chatter is important! If he does not want to talk first, or asks why you want to talk first, he’s a schmuck, and should be avoided.
  2. Second, find a way to determine if he is looking for a spark. I like to ask men trick questions like, “How do you know if you found someone that you click with?” I also like to ask: “Do you think that attraction is something that is built over time or are you pretty confident that you know immediately whether the relationship will work?”

What are your experiences with the serial dater? How can they be avoided? Subscribe if you like what you see at Ladies Again.

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Are You a Traditional Woman? Take the Test

Women showing underwear

You know ladylike behavior on a visceral level when you see it. You recognize when a woman has poise, patience, virtue and femininity. But what exactly makes a woman ladylike or traditional? And a better question: What can you do to make yourself more ladylike? Use the pictures below to determine your level of feminine behavior.

You do not allow small things affect your manner and disposition.


Classy elegant woman



Women yelling at men

You practice good manners and are grateful for the people who help you. You are humble, and when you communicate, you say “Thank You,” Please,” and “Excuse Me” regularly.


Woman bowing


Middle Finger
Photo by the Frisky.

You accept responsibility for your actions, and do not blame other people for all of your problems. You do not sulk and whine publicly when something goes awry. Instead, you find ways to reflect and figure out how to make sure that the same incident does not happen again in the future.


Women talking on a couch.



Angry Child with Parent


You are aware that the friends and spouses you associate with are a reflection of yourself. You know that it is not wise to associate yourself with drug users, or promiscuous and immoral individuals, no matter how interesting or entertaining they may be as friends.


Ladies lunching


Women showing underwear

You never show too much leg or too much cleavage. You recognize that your body is a temple and you carry yourself with pride.


Woman in Blue Dress


Redneck woman

You do not nag, pester, chastise or otherwise undermine the maturity, agency and authority of any adult, man or woman.


Woman and man flirting.


Jon and Kate

You do not get sloppily drunk in public.


Group of women in photo


Drunk young woman resting head on bar counter

You listen carefully when others speak. You do not dominate conversations with your elders.


Young women and their elders


Woman screaming

 You take care of yourself and your appearance, inside and out. You eat healthy and try to look as best as you can by dressing appropriately, exercising and applying makeup. You recognize when your body is changing for the worst, and makes proactive and effective steps to improve your appearance. You practice good hygiene habits.


Woman exercising


Moribly obese woman

You are a good hostess with a clean and neat home. You make your living space comfortable, welcoming, and pleasing to the eye. You know how to set people at ease.


Woman in the kitchen
There’s a simple way to keep your home spring-clean fresh all year through.


Messy home


What are other qualities of feminine women that we missed? Add yours in the comments below.

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One Date a Week: Shower First

One Date a Week

Last year, I swallowed the Red Pill and decided to do all that I could to become a much more feminine and attractive woman. As part of my commitment to reinvent myself, I swore that I would make dating a bigger priority in my life. These are my Red Pill Dating Diaries.

Woman with smartphone.
Photo by Pexels.

I’ve been on a number of dates in the past year, searching for a goal-oriented and honest person in my age range that I can connect with on a romantic level. For the most part, dating has been a pretty straight-forward process―I meet people for dinner or a walk around the city, we speak for an hour or two and then we decide if we’d like to spend more time with each other. But sometimes, the date makes me so uncomfortable that I try to find ways to speed up the process so that I can go home, where it is safe and quiet. How uncomfortable is uncomfortable? Well, I can think back to a number of first dates where I was not sure if the person showered that week. Their hygiene game was on level zero. These were true grizzly men.

I met Grizzly Man #1 through OKCupid. I want to get to know the person that I’m dating over the phone first (because, well, he might be crazy! Or, alternatively, I may be a bad personality match for him also). We talked on the phone and texted for a few weeks prior to our date. We decided to keep our first date simple and just limit our activity to walking around the Golden Gate Park, a massive urban park in San Francisco. I got there first, and when I saw him approach the bench I was sitting on, I knew that I made a mistake agreeing to the first date.

From a distance, he was wearing green sweatpants and a red sweatshirt that was two sizes too small for him (and was showcasing his burgeoning beer belly). His hair was disheveled. As he got closer, I saw that his hair was very slick and oily. Then, I leaned in to give him a hug, and I smelled actual musk. I wondered: When did he shower last? And why would a person show up to a date smelly and disheveled? I could feel the disappointment welling up in my chest. I enjoyed talking to him on the phone, but could not feel attracted to someone who did not take care of themselves properly.

I wanted out. I began to convince myself that maybe he showed up smelly to the date because he did not want me to like him. Like, maybe he found another woman he liked more, but didn’t have the heart to cancel our date. Yes, that’s what’s it is! Just as I was starting to believe my own theory, Grizzy Man #1 kept asking me questions about the qualities that I’m looking for in a potential spouse. I answered his questions, and then he would try to convince me that he met all of those qualities. Then he kept complimenting me about how attractive I was. Oh shoot! The smelly guy thinks he has a chance. As we walked around the park, several concertgoers―who were just exiting a large outdoor concert also taking place in the park―decided to pee in the bushes that lined the sidewalk. So, unabashed public urination happened on a date with smelly Grizzly #1. How fitting.

I met Grizzly #2 through the app Coffee Meets Bagel. We talked on the phone prior to meeting, and I had already decided that we might not hit it off in person. This was because he talked entirely too much. It took him several minutes to answer basic questions about his background. But, he did have an interesting job in science, so I was intrigued by some of the research he was conducting. So we decided to meet. But then, the public train was delayed and I ended up being 45 minutes late to our date. I felt awful, and just wanted to run home from embarrassment. When I arrived at the bar (which was having a trivia night), he was waiting outside. I apologized, and decided to put my best foot forward on this date, since I screwed up by being late. I gave him a hug upon first meeting him, and I smelled a slight whiff of musky underarms. No problem, I thought, he was waiting a while so maybe he was just nervous.

We sat across from each other and played a card game, a game that he was taking too seriously. We talked and chatted, and he still talked too much, but he had strong opinions, so I kicked back and let him ramble. After playing the game for a while in the loud bar, we decided to get food at a quiet spot. By the time we got to the restaurant, his body odor was on full alert! How could a person decide to forgo wearing deodorant on a first date? But then again, I tried to quell my judgmental attitude because I was wrong for being so late to the date. So I plastered on a phony grin through the meal. After the dinner we walked back toward the train and he kept putting his hand on lower part of my back, apparently in an attempt to feign closeness. I just wanted to grab a can of air freshener and douse his body in it. He asked me if he could kiss me. I said no…a little too quickly. I backed-tracked by saying that I didn’t kiss on the first date.

Later that night, Grizzly #2 texted me goodnight and asked if he could meet up again. I said okay, because I felt bad for two reasons: first, that I may have made him feel bad by being late on the date, and second, that he seemed to be falling for me, and yet was oblivious to how he smelled. I began to rationalize―maybe I made him nervous, so I don’t want to dismiss him so early. Plus he was great to talk to. Maybe the attraction can come later.

I went on a second date with Grizzly #2 and he was just as smelly as before. And he was more obnoxiously opinionated than I remember him being before. I told him on the date that I just wanted to be friends, though that was a lie.

Normally, at the end of my articles on my dates, I add a section on lessons that I’ve learned from the dating process. But, I’m not sure what the lesson was from these dates. Was there a way that I could have discerned from my screening phone calls that my online dates lacked basic hygiene habits? Perhaps one of major the downfalls of online dating is that you do not have any contextual background information on the people that you are meeting online. If I had worked or volunteered with the two Grizzlies, I might have known that they do not care about their hygiene, but since we met online, I would have only learned about them after we met in person.

What are your online dating tactics? How would you handle a date with one of the Grizzlies? Like what you see here? Subscribe for the latest from Ladies Again.


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Men Only Marry Women Who Demand Marriage

Photo by Michelangelo Carrieri Flickr.

I’ve always thought of myself as a laid-back, low-maintenance chick, someone that would never give a man a lot of stress. So when I asked my ex-boyfriend years ago if he wanted to get married, and he told me that he needed more time, I gave him all the time he needed. As in, several years to figure out how he felt. In the end, we never got engaged or married, and we ended the relationship shortly after. I never got upset with him, or threw a temper tantrum when he seemed put-off by my interest in marriage. I wanted to be an understanding partner and I did not want to feel like I forced someone to marry me by giving an ultimatum.

It turns out that my laid-back nature was not healthy for my love life and aspirations for marriage. According to the groundbreaking book “Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others” by John T. Molloy, it is only the women who demand marriage that end up getting married. Those women who patiently wait for the man to set the terms of their relationship often never end of getting married.

“Our most important discovery was that the primary difference between women who marry and women who do not is Women who marry insist that the men in their lives marry them,” said Molloy. “More than 73 percent of the women coming out of marriage license bureaus with the future husbands told us they had put pressure that didn’t involve an attempt to manipulate their man into marrying them but was simply a result of their telling their man what they were feeling.”

The book makes this point clear: Women who wish to be married need to tell their spouses that it is vital to their long-term happiness if they are married. And they need to make it clear that they won’t settle for anything less.

“The idea that any woman needs a man to be happy and fulfilled today seems politically incorrect. Nevertheless, 64 percent of the brides-to-be told us they held this belief, while less than 20 percent of the women who did not think they would marry held the same belief,” said Molloy in the book. “We concluded that a woman who believed that marriage was essential to her happiness worked harder at finding a mate.”

Why Men Marry Some Women Image
Why Men Marry Some Women Image

Molloy recommends that women refrain from giving “It’s marriage or me!” ultimatums. Instead, he recommends that women say something along these lines: “I love you, but I need marriage.” This is a delicate way of speaking to the man about how you feel, without making the discussion about marriage accusatory or hostile.

Here’s more interesting points from the book:

  • “When we asked couples about to marry which of them had first spoken about marriage, 69 percent said it was the woman, 12 percent the man. The remainder did not remember, were not sure, or disagreed. Most of the times they disagreed, the man said it was the woman, and she did not remember it that way.”
  • “Discussing marriage is important for a number of reasons. One of the most important is to avoid a misunderstanding that can strike a major blow to your plans to marry.”
  • After reviewing the data, we came to this conclusion: If the woman conveyed to the man in her life the belief that marriage was essential to her happiness, it often became a very powerful argument for marriage. Almost a third of the women who were about to marry said that they discussion or argument that convinced their fiance to propose went something like this: ‘Marriage is essential to my happiness. If you love me as you claim, you’ll do what it takes to make me happy.'”
  • “Interestingly, 63 percent said they would have proposed in a year or two. That’s a very revealing answer: Our research showed that when men delayed proposing by as little as three months, often they never proposed. Without such pressure, there probably wouldn’t have been a proposal at all!”
  • “The majority of those women also believed that their men understood if they remained a couple for a year or more and were getting along, at that point they should start seriously considering marriage. This is an extremely good idea: Left to their own devices, less than percent of their future husband a thought dating for a year and being in love meant marriage was necessarily the next step.”

So be very vocal about your feelings ladies! If you are a woman who wants to get married, you only have so much time to discuss the subject seriously with your spouse before the optimal moment passes.

Do you have any advice for speaking to a man about marriage?


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Is He the Right Guy to Date? Skip the Men Who Party Too Much

The Adicts at SO36. Kreuzberg-Berlin

What’s one of the best ways to figure out if a man is ready for marriage? Ask him how much he enjoys drinking and going out to bars. In one of the greatest books ever written on dating, researcher John T. Molloy argues in “Why men Marry Some Women and Not Others” that the best-suited men for relationships and marriage are those who have already grown tired of the singles scene in bars and nightclubs.

In the book, Molloy and a team of researchers interview men and women just leaving marriage license bureaus to learn more about the similarities between marriage-minded people. Their findings are startling and eye-opening. One of the findings from the research shows that marriage-minded men are those who have grown out of the singles scene.

Man binge drinking.
This guy probably isn’t thinking about marriage and kids.

“Many men reluctantly admitted that for more than a year, they had felt uncomfortable in the singles world where they had been hanging out for the past five years,” Molloy said. “It is not how old they are that makes men uncomfortable, it is how old they feel, or how old others make them feel. Once a man decides he’s too old for the singles scene, that part of his life is over, and he is more likely to marry.”

So, it’s in your best interest to avoid dating men who love to party because those men are probably not ready to settle down. I’ve experienced this personally. I dated an older man who had absolutely no interest in giving up the bar and partying scene. Going out partying with his boys week after week was just as much a priority to him as spending time with me or with his family. I now know to look specifically for men who are getting bored by the club and bar scene.

The book also provided tips on other ways to find marriage-minded men, including:

There is a specific age range when a man is ready to get married

  • A man whose education ended at the high school level is looking to get married at ages 23 or 24. Similarly, a man whose education ended at the college level is looking to get married at age 26. When men earn graduate degrees, expect that they will want to get married in their late 20s or early 30s.
  • “Ninety percent of men who have graduated from college are ready for the next step between ages twenty-six and thirty-three…But this window of opportunity stays open only for four to five years, and then the changes a man will marry start to decline.” (3)
  • Aim for men who are between ages 28-33.

There are “Stringer” Men Who Have no Intention of Marrying Anyone

  • Have you ever met a man who told you that he’s had several long-term relationships? That man is likely a “Stringer,” a man who enjoys the companionship of women, but has no interest in committing long-term to one specific person.
  • “A stringer is a man who strings women along….He often tells women, up front, he never intends to marry, so if and when he decides he wants to cut out, she has no reason to complain.”(11)
  • Make a deadline for the stringer to commit: “If he doesn’t commit to you within six months, get rid of him….He may tell you that you’re coming on too strong. He may complain that the two of you haven’t been going together long enough, that he doesn’t know, that he hasn’t made up his mind. In fact, he is likely to tell you anything that will get you to stick around without his needing to make a commitment. Don’t fall for it. The chances a stringer will marry are very slim; he is simply not the marrying kind.”

Some Men are Bachelor’s for Life

  • If you are dating a man in his late forties, it is likely that he will never get married. It is a much better idea to date a man in that age range who has been widowed or divorced, than to marry an older man who has never gotten married.
  • “Once men reach age forty-seven to fifty without marrying, the chances they will marry do not disappear but they drop dramatically.” (10)

Many Men Hate Women

  • Finally, there is a special group of men to avoid—those that think that the majority of women are gold-digging whores. These men distrust women, and think that there are no benefits to getting married (never mind that marriage is the best way to provide a stable home for children or that very few cohabiting relationships tend to last more than a few years).
  • Many men look at women and marriage as poor financial investments. “The irony is that many of the men who spoke this way really didn’t have all that much anyway…If a man talks of marriage as a financial game in which women are out to make their fortunes, don’t just walk away—run! Such men are hardly ever going to be the marrying kind.”

Other Points to Remember

  • Think long and hard about dating someone whose parents had a tumultuous marriage or divorce. Not everyone who has experienced family issues at home are damaged goods obviously, but you should pay attention to how he feels about marriage and divorce.
  • See if he has friends who have are married. If all of his friends are living the single life, he probably will not want to get married yet.
  • Check to see if you have the same values. “Men often marry women whose backgrounds—religion, politics, values, socioeconomic status—match theirs. “Are you both from the same socioeconomic class? Do you belong to the same religion?
  • See if he lives alone because men who live as independent adults are more likely to marry.

Have you ever wasted time on the wrong guy? Talk about it below!


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One Date A Week: Bored and Fidgety

One Date a Week

Last year, I swallowed the Red Pill and decided to do all that I could to become a much more feminine and attractive woman. As part of my commitment to reinvent myself, I swore that I would make dating a bigger priority in my life. These are my Red Pill Dating Diaries.

I met a guy on OkCupid, a few weeks after I moved to San Francisco. He was a Ginger guy in his mid-twenties with average build and height. I was impressed that he earned both his bachelors and master’s degrees in software engineering from U.C. Berkeley, a prestigious school in Northern California. We chatted via text or some time before he asked me out to meet up. We met up at a bar for drinks. I now know, after months of dating, that meeting up for drinks is a bad first date idea.

Movie theater. Photo by Thomas Hawk via Flickr.
Movie theater. Photo by Thomas Hawk via Flickr.

What was remarkable about this date was how little we spoke to one another. We didn’t talk much before meeting up, maybe six or seven chats in the OkCupid app, then five to six text messages to go over logistics about meeting up in person. Once we met up, we talked in a bar for maybe 20 minutes before I mentioned that I really wanted to see a new action movie. We headed over to the movie theaters down the street to see the film. While we walked to the theater, he joked, “We could also watch the movie over my house if you want.” I exclaimed “Absolutely not!” We both laughed, but I think we both knew what we were actually discussing beneath the humor. He implicitly asked me to go to his house to have sex with him, and I thought the idea of doing that was ridiculous. I laughed it off, but I knew this date was not going to anywhere. I’m pretty confident he felt the same.

We went to see the action movie in an frigid and empty movie theater downtown. He made it painfully obvious that he didn’t care for the film because he fidgeted and squirmed throughout the entire movie. His sighs went from passive puffs of air to full-bodied vocal exhalations. Once the movie ended, it was clear he wanted nothing to do but to leave the theater. I thought it was a great movie. We split an Uber back to our respective homes. In the car, I thanked him for a great night. I never spoke to him again.

I learned a few things from this date. First, do not meet up blindly with people that you think are cute on an online dating website. Do you two have anything in common? Going on an online date is almost the same as picking a name randomly out of the Yellow Pages—you have no idea what you’re going to get. Spend some time chatting with them to get a sense of why they are interested in dating. Second, take the time to call your dates before you meet up with them to get a feel for whether you enjoy conversing with them.

Have you ever had a boring date? How did you get out of it? Tell your story below!

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You Can Drink Wine Like a Lady

How much do you really know about drinking wine? In my case, not much. It was not until very recently that I learned that I did not know how to hold a wine glass properly (Hint: Hold it by the stem, not the cup). Let’s all learn the basics about wine together.

Pick a Color

First, there are two main categories of wine: white wine or red wine. White wines are mostly made of white grapes; they are made without skins or seeds. The skins are separated from the juice and yeast is added for fermentation. White wines are lighter and have a crisp, fruity flavor and aroma. Red wine is made from the darker red and black grapes. On another note, sparkling wine is a wine with significant levels of carbon dioxide in it, making it fizzy.

Bonus Tip: Champagne is the same thing as sparkling wine, the only difference being that sparkling wine can only be called champagne if it comes from the region of Champagne, France.

How to hold an alcoholic beverage. Image by Honest Cooking.
How to hold an alcoholic beverage. Image by Honest Cooking.

Hold the Glass Correctly and Stare at Your Glass

To hold wine, you can grab either the stem or hold onto the base of the wine glass. Never grab the bowl portion of the wine glass because holding it by the “bowl” warms your drink, which is not what you want. You hold champagne flutes the same way. While sipping your drink, remember to stare directly into your glass because it is impolite to look at another person while drinking if you are in conversation.

Let It Breathe

When you drink wine, you need to perform a practice called “letting it breathe.” Letting a wine breathe is when you expose the wine to the air to facilitate and promote the exchange of wine molecules with air molecules. Letting the wine breathe makes it easier to smell, which therefore makes the wine taste better since our sense of taste is directly affected by our sense of smell. You can let the wine breathe by swirling the wine. To swirl the wine, you can either place the glass firmly on the table and swirl it by the stem, or, as an alternative, you can pick the wine glass up and twist your wrist in circles.

How to Pour Wine

Know the appropriate measurements when pouring drinks. Red wine glasses should be 1/3 full, white wine should be ½ full, and sparkling wine or champagne should be ¾ full. Always “twist pour,” which is when you twist the bottle at the end of pouring.

Here’s a great guide to wine tasting:

Going to a party? Brush up on your etiquette lessons. Want to learn how to be the ultimate lady after the party? Learn how to write a classy thank you note for the host.

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