Six Reasons You Hate Your Job

Woman reading something.

Are you a young power woman who is working your way up the corporate ladder? Odds are you hate your job. As much as you talk about how fulfilling your job is, you hate the never-ending rat-race, the monotony of office life and the endless stream of upcoming meetings and projects. The truth is that you would probably be happier if you left the office and decided to have children and become a stay-at-home mother. Here’s why:

Your Uterus is Decaying

If you are a young woman and your goal is to have a family and children, you have to accept the reality that you cannot have it all at work and at home. If you are a young woman, you must choose between having a career and having a family because young women must consider the dating and fertility issues they will face if they put off family planning for too long. For each day that you go into the office to work full-time, that is one less day that you could be creating a family. The chance of a 30-year-old getting pregnant in one try is less than 30 percent, and is less than 10 percent for a 40-year-old woman. Additionally, women also have to accept that most young mothers would prefer to work part-time, so it makes sense to plan for a family that includes another spouse who works full-time.

Long Work Hours

It’s hard being an American worker, whether you’re male or female. We work some of the longest hours in the developed world. Our vacation allotments are short and our access to sick time is even shorter. If you are a woman who would like to work fewer hours, you can rest easy knowing that are not alone. One Pew study found that 53 percent of women say they do not have any interest in being the boss. According to another Pew study, 47 percent of mothers said that their ideal situation would be to work part-time. A ForbesWoman study found that out of all working women surveyed, 84 percent of working women say that they aspire to have the financial luxury to stay home to raise children. One in three women resent their partners for not earning enough to make that dream a reality. Forget about Sheryl Sandberg’s advice about “leaning in,” most working women actually want to opt out.

Office Politics

What is the worse office politics battle that you’ve waged? Take a second to think about it. Did an argument about a stapler or the coffee machine end with someone going to human resources? You have never seen pettiness or immaturity like you have seen in an office battle. And unfortunately, it is usually the case that the pettiest, most passive-aggressive workers are the first ones to get ahead in the workplace.

Meetings and More Meetings

You want to publish a story on a new report, so you have a meeting to discuss the marketing process for the publication. But since the release won’t happen for a few months, you schedule a brainstorming meeting to get staff members ready for the official launch meeting. Everyone can’t make the brainstorming meeting because of scheduling conflicts, so you plan a pre-brainstorming meeting. You have the pre-brainstorming meeting, but some of your talkative coworkers dominate the conversation, so you schedule a secretive brainstorming meeting that only has the colleagues who are known for getting things done. In this secretive meeting, you and your private confidants decide it may be best to hire a meeting consultant to help your firm make sure the official brainstorming meeting goes smoothly. What’s not to love about all of these meetings?

Day-to-day is Boring

Honestly, how much work do you actually do everyday? Is it possible for you to complete the majority of your daily tasks in 2-3 hours? Can you do the bulk of your work from home? Admit it, you don’t need to go through the headache of waking up early, showering and commuting to and from work just to do 2-3 hours of actual work every day.

Dealing with Bullshitters

The office is full of professionals who double-talk in magic speak. They use lofty language about “capacity building,” “sustained actions” and “dynamic public interest.” An actual sentence said at a recent meeting: “We want to find the essence of our communications foundation and broader-based interest discussions with our brand.” Enough with all of the engagement!

So what is a young woman to do? Focus more on building a stable family with a decent, loving man. It will bring you more happiness that dedicating your best years to office politics and wage enslavement.

Read next: 20 Facts about Sex and Dating Feminists Don’t Want You To Know

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36 Ways to Make Anyone Fall in Love

Drawing of heart.

Love is an action, not an accident. Or, so that’s what psychologist Arthur Aron found 20 years ago when he figured out a way to make two people fall in love in his study “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness” (pdf). In the study, two complete strangers walked into a lab, asked each other a series of questions and fell in love. The questions asked forced the participants to expose their own vulnerabilities, creating a sense of impromptu closeness. A key part of the study was the eye contact–participants held their gaze between asking questions for 2-4 minutes at a time.

The study should be reviewed by individuals in the dating market. You too can create your own love experiment by using questions from the same study. The questions increase in difficulty, making one more probing than the next. Remember to hold your gaze when asking the questions! I’ve shared them below for your own love trials:

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last
60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would
you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you
are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five
items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other
people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important
for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not
say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most
regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you
have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask
your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Read more: How to Get Divorced in 10 Easy Steps: “Dear Future Husband” Review

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15 Ways to Attract the Right Man this Winter

Sexy man in coat

Look at this man:

Man on bed

Or this one:

Shirtless Man

Or these men:

Sexy man in coat

Tyson Beckford

As a classy woman, what do you have to offer these men that will make them come back for more? It certainly isn’t sex because these men can easily get sex from a random promiscuous woman at a local bar. It isn’t your looks because there are millions of beautiful women in the world, so that doesn’t make you in particular special. Could it be your DVD collection? No, these men probably do not want to see your movie collection because they probably have a Netflix account. So, what will bring them back for more once you’ve already caught their eye?

Your nurturing side will keep them coming back. Can you cook a decent meal? Is your home tidy and neat or messy and cluttered? Can you give back or neck massages? How often do you show your friends and family that you care about them? When is the last time you gave someone a gift when it wasn’t the holiday season or their birthday? How often do you give hugs? What does your home really smell like? Be honest.

Feminine and caring women have an advantage in today’s dating market. Since it is the winter season and many people have downtime at work, now may be a good time to brush up on your Susie Homemaker domestic skills. Here are a few ideas:

Create Well-decorated Rooms

Living room photo

Make Sure Your Toilet Sparkles

Bathroom towel

Eliminate Clutter in Your Home

Use Boxes, Drawers & Trunks to Organize Items

Find a Difficult Recipe and Perfect It

Pexelshands-summer-party-colorful

Learn How to Cook a Meal from Scratch

Holiday dinner table. Photo by Pexels.
Photo by Pexels.

Find Ways to Reuse Leftovers

Pexelsfood-summer-party-dinner

Learn How to Properly do Laundry

Teach Yourself How to Sew a Hem

Become Buddies with Your Iron

Create a Weekly Cleaning Schedule

Pexelsperson-looking-searching-clean

Read next: Why Is My Doctor Pushing Birth Control on Me?

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This is Why Feminists are Embarrassing

Photo by Zombie Time

I’m quite positive that if you interviewed most people on the street in a developed country, they would say they believe that women should have the full spectrum of civil and social equalities that are afforded to men. And yet, studies show that the majority of people are turned off by feminists. In CBS’ study of 1,150 U.S. adults, 65 percent of women and 58 percent of men identified as feminist when an equal-rights definition was provided, but only 24 percent of women and 14 percent of men considered themselves “feminist” in the absence of a definition.

I’m in the latter group―I would rather call myself an “antifeminist” or an “equality feminist” before I would ever identify as a “feminist.” Why? Because the latest generation of feminists has proven themselves to be nonsensical and hysterical in every way imaginable. They are fueling the public relations problem that is plaguing their cause. Here’s what’s wrong with our generation of feminists:

They Are Biodenialists

For years, some of the most vocal third-wave feminists have flat-out denied the existence of basic biological differences between men and men. They believe that, despite all scientific evidence to the contrary, gender is a concept created and enforced by society. Thus, they believe that infants are born with a psychological blank slate, and that gender roles are forced upon them. Their dismissal of evolutionary psychology flies in the face of physiology and evolutionary scientists (mind you, many of the world’s outspoken feminist leaders are neither scientists nor psychologists). For a list of evolutionary studies on sex differences, see “Giving Feminism a Bad Name” by Barry X. Kuhle.

Feminists are Misandrists

Photo of woman with cup.Feminists are obsessed with proving that men are rapists, sexual harassers and controlling oppressors. I’m not sure why they hate men so much. To prove that men are awful, they use inaccurate statistics about rape, workplace discrimination and sexual exploitation. They say: “Men are raping because of the rape culture!” Actually the number of rapes in the U.S. is falling every year. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), between 1997 and 2013, the rate of rape or sexual assault against women dropped by 50 percent. They say: “Women make 70 cents for every dollar that men make.” The 23-cent gender pay gap is simply the difference between the average earnings of all men and women working full-time, and it does not account for DIFFERENCES in occupations, positions, education, job tenure or hours worked per week. Women tend to work in low-paying jobs and in part-time positions; men tend to work in high-risk jobs, which offer higher pay.

Writer and scholar Christina Hoff Sommers summarized the misandry touted by feminists best when she said: “The idea that American men are annually enslaving more than 100,000 girls, sending millions of women to emergency rooms, sustaining a rape culture and cheating women out of their rightful salary creates rancor in true believers and disdain in those who would otherwise be sympathetic allies.”

Emotionally Unstable

“part of patriarchy”

Who would want to be associated with a group of loud, angry and masculine women who pout and whine about the smallest transgressions? Feminists are perpetually offended. I have personally never met an emotionally stable woman who identified as a feminist. They mobilize over petty issues because they have nothing better to do. They have done everything from shut down small-town coffeeshops, to chastised rocket scientists about their shirts, to picked on talented musical artists. One feminists remarked that she feels angry all the time. It would be great if feminists just moved to an island by themselves…and stayed there.

Contradictory and Hypocritical

Photo by Zombie Time
Photo by Zombie Time

Feminist ideals can be contradictory and confusing. Take for example their views on domestic violence. Feminists believe that gender is a social construct, yet a man is a horrible monster if he hits a woman because she is a a defenseless creature (even in instances when the woman provokes the man). What happened to the idea that a woman can do anything a man can do, even physically? One of the most obvious examples of the hypocrisy of feminists can be seen in the SlutWalks that they host in cities worldwide. First they demand that women are not objectified for their bodies in the media. Then they walk naked in SlutWalks, where they proclaim that they can be promiscuous and walk around naked if they chose to. They are contradictory even amongst themselves at these SlutWalks―some women say that it is disrespectful to call whorish women sluts, while others where their “slut” titles like badges of honor. Huh? I’m not the only one who is confused.

Photo by ZombieTime
Photo by ZombieTime

They Have Shallow Visions of Equality

According to feminists, equality has not been reached until there are equal numbers of men and women in important key positions. They want to see that half of Congress is female, half male; half of the Fortune 500 should be female, according to them. But what if women have no interest in taking those important positions, such as political or business leaders? After all, most women would not want to take on stressful jobs in finance, business, medicine or law that include long working hours that pull her away from her family. Also, has it ever occurred to them that men might naturally excel in some jobs in ways that women do not? Worse, why aren’t feminists upset that ALL industries are not more diverse, such as those that are dangerous and difficult, such as waste management, forestry, construction and law enforcement? Feminists only care about making sure that women are well-represented in cushy, high income jobs.

They Believe They Speak for ALL Women

Photo of Hillary ClintonFeminists believe that they speak for all women, as if we all support free birth control, abortion rights and special workplace privileges for women. We don’t. They typically lean left, and not all women share their liberal views about how the world should work.

Read next: How You Can Avoid Dating Fatigue and Find Quality Men

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Why Is My Doctor Pushing Birth Control on Me?

Photo by Pexels

I hate going to the doctor’s, but I dragged myself to see a doctor last week to check out a rash (it was harmless) and get an annual physical exam. As usual, the doctor spent a few minutes trying to convince me to go on birth control. I refused for a litany of reasons, the first being that I do not see the benefits of permanently altering my hormones when I’m not in a relationship or sexually active. I explained to the doctor that I tried birth control in the past, and I ended up with persistent acne as a result. She shrugged slightly (who cares about having severe acne right?) and said that I didn’t need to take hormonal birth control because there are other options. She then, trying to further convince me to go on the Pill, asked me what I would do if I found out I was pregnant in the next year. I said that it would be great, seeing as though I’m already 27 years old and my eggs are going to go bad in a few years. Then she stopped pestering me about the Pill.

I always thought it was strange that doctors have tried to convince me to get on birth control, but I didn’t understand how bizarre it was until I reviewed my medical bill and saw that the doctor listed our birth control conversation as a medical service!

The bill said:

You Were Diagnosed with: Encounter for contraceptive surveillance

At no point did I ask to have a birth control conversation with my doctor. Why did the office bill my insurance company for that conversation? What in the world is going on? How does a doctor benefit from convincing a woman to go on birth control? Blood clots have been linked to hormonal birth control pills, not to mention strokes, heart attacks and high blood pressure as potential side effects. I remember having mood swings when I took birth control. It turns out that I wasn’t imagining things. Birth control has been shown to cause depression in those who are prone to it.

What’s worse is that hormonal birth control can impact your ability to attract and connect with the right partner. A study from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science followed 118 couples who met while the woman was on hormonal birth control and found that going off the pill impacted how attracted she was to her partner. Why would a doctor want to push a drug that causes all of these side effects on a young woman? And why wouldn’t the doctor at least mention the very serious risks of taking birth control?

Because they are probably getting paid to do so (see Government Will Withhold One-Third of the Records from Database of Physician Payments). …Or. the doctors are just incredibly liberal.

Graphic

Family practice medical practitioners tend to have liberal ideologies (see the graphic), and nonprofit doctors are more likely to support Democrats. After all, the birth control Nazi doctor is located at a non-profit women’s clinic in a low-income neighborhood. In San Francisco, Calif. Yeah, I shouldn’t really be shocked by her behavior…

I’ve also noticed that it is only the female doctor’s that push birth control on me, never any male doctors. It could be that the female doctors are hard-line career-driven pants-pushers and they are not able to fathom having children willy nilly. So, they are then trying to push their same “work first, love second” ideology on me.

Their behavior is offensive on several levels:

  • First, they are assuming that I am having reckless or premarital sex. Contraception makes it easier to have sex outside marriage. By pushing birth control, the doctor is trying her best to support what is essentially immoral behavior.
  • Second, doctors are also assuming that I am interested in putting a harmful substance into my body without taking a second thought.
  • Finally, birth control prevents potential human beings from being conceived, which I may think is morally wrong.

Next time I go to in for a doctor’s visit, I’m going to watch my back.

Read more: 13 Reasons Why I’m Grateful for Strong Men

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The Bachelor Review: Ladylike Behavior

The Bachelor Review image

The Bachelor is back. How exciting! You may ask, how can feminine explorers at Ladies Again watch a show where young women compete and drool over one guy? Because we like to think about all things related to dating and relationships. The Bachelor also provides a great deal of accidental social commentary. With each episode, The Bachelor holds up a mirror to all of the confusion and bewilderment facing today’s generation of young people trying to navigate the murky waters of the mating market. There’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

Photo of Ben Higgins
Ben Higgins

This year’s Bachelor is named Ben Higgins, and he’s a tall and dark-haired software salesman from Warsaw, Indiana. He’s very handsome, much more so than last year’s country-boy bachelor. And yet, Higgins has a boy next door charm about him, but at the same time sort of gives off naughty frat-boy vibes. I’m positive that he is just an aspiring actor just like everyone else in reality television, but this season should be entertaining otherwise.

The women seem to be quirkier than usual. One contestant brought a pony to the opening ceremony; another showed up dressed in a pajama one-piece. Another nutritionist brought bread for Higgins to break and destroy. Ugh. There were a few additional minority women this season than what is typical–there is even three black women this season! Perhaps the ABC producers are heeding to public outcries about the lack of diversity on the show.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Being Too Forward: I’ve never seen a situation where a contestant asked directly for a kiss and everything went well. In my experience, it is usually best to wait for the guy to make a first move. Lace is a contestant who did not wait for Higgins to make the first move and try to kiss her, so she asked for a kiss directly and then experienced rejection when Higgins told her he felt they were moving too fast. Later she asks him “Did you even notice me, do you know my name? Hello?!” Yeah, not a good way to be feminine.

Read more: Ladies Shut Their Mouths

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The Idiots Are Winning

The level of “false outrage” and political correctness on college campuses has surpassed all levels of idiocy. If social justice warriors and logical people are in a war for the minds of young and impressionable people, the crazy social justice warriors are winning. Want examples? California recently passed a bill to stop campus rape culture by telling grown adults to affirm whether they want to have consensual sex by saying “Yes” like a robot before each sexual activity.

An angry mob of protestors officially ended racism last month when they forced a University of Missouri chancellor to quit because someone driving past the school shouted the N-word. Yale students wanted to fire a professor for arguing that students are old enough to wear whatever Halloween costume they want to wear. The idiots are winning, and they think that they are actually believe that they are making meaningful changes.

Photo by ZombieTime
These women are running our schools and media. Photo by ZombieTime

The crazy people are winning and they are taking over our colleges, news outlets and entertainment centers. This is why we all need to do a better job to support blogs, magazines and authors who argue for traditional, commonsense ideals about family structures and gender relationships. Blogs like Reason Magazine, JudgyBitch and Return of Kings. And especially Ladies Again. Please join me in donating and subscribing to those outlets. You can also start to dismantle the liberal power structure by boycotting their businesses. Turn off the news. I have already unsubscribed from mainstream news outlets like The Washington Post, NPR and The New York Times. I can’t even read Psychology Today any longer, which was one of my favorite outlets, without seeing in-depth news articles about heroic “transgender activists.” Now, I get my political news from niche outlets, like Roll Call (and I have no interest in voting Democratic any time soon).

You can also vote and share videos and news stories that bring light to all of the madness from the social justice warriors. Here are a few of my favorites–share them at will:

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13 Reasons Why I’m Grateful for Strong Men

Job HA0276. February 2006. Fabrication of a new plastic coated bridge, which is being constructed alongside the motorway and will later be erected at Mount Pleasant, M6 motorway, near Junction 32, Lancashire north of Bilsborrow.

I love men for their strength and courage, and I think it’s unfortunate that so many of today’s mainstream bloggers and columnists seem obsessed with pointing out all of the things that men are doing wrong, such as promoting “rape culture,” objectifying women or refusing to “man up.” I am sick of seeing feminists depict men as simple-minded creatures who are only capable of raping and dominating poor and defenseless women.

Photo by Thomas Hawk via Flickr
A group of men built this. Photo by Thomas Hawk via Flickr

If you listen to all of the anti-male rhetoric spewing out of Hillary Clinton or her online cult followers, it is easy to believe that the world would be better off if men were eliminated. The truth is that men contribute to society in profound ways. They build our roads, they build our homes, they fight to protect us in wars, they keep us safe. For instance, none of the 9/11 rescue workers were women.

I did not fully appreciate the contributions that men make to society until I took a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City. Putting my hand on the bridge, I could feel the power of the structure, and I wondered how many men risked their lives to build the bridge years ago. It turns out that between 20 to 50 men were estimated to have died from various causes while building the bridge―not a single women died, or even got injured, making the bridge. It’s easy to say that women did not make any any contributions to the development of the bridge because of historical workplace discrimination. That assumption is wrong―it has been more than 130 years since the Brooklyn Bridge first opened, and men are still taking on the riskiest jobs in the world. In the United States, more than 4,300 men died in 2014(pdf) at work, while only 359 women lost their lives at work that year. Men continue to take on the jobs women will not even consider, such as plumbing, carpentry, forestry, waste management and roofing.

Here are just a few of the ways that men contribute today to society:

100% of electrical power line installers are men.

100% of oil drill workers are men.

100% of heating, air conditioning and refrigeration mechanics are men.

100% of deep sea fishermen are men.

99% of coal miners are men.

99% of garbage collectors are men.

99% of roofers are men.

98% of metal fabricators are men.

97% of aircraft maintenance and service technicians are men.

95.5% of firefighters are men.

92% of construction workers are men.

88% of patrol officers are men.

Thanks to Staked In The Heart for sharing the statistics!

Read more: Why Meryl Streep Turned Her Back on Feminism

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Why is it so Hard to Keep the Weight Off?

Healthy people are more sought after and valuable in the dating market, which puts a lot of pressure on single people to maintain a healthy weight. Logically, this pressure is understandable. People want to date individuals who can live long healthy lives and produce healthy children. In spite of all of the pressure to lose weight, many people struggle to maintain a healthy weight after significant weight loss. According to one study, ninety percent of people who lose a significant amount of weight gain it back eventually. Why is that? New evidence shows that weight gain cannot simply be attributed to bad genes or poor eating habits returning to the surface. Researchers have found that weight gain is caused by something much more sinister.

The body’s ability to maintain its stability is called homeostasis. When a person gains weight, the body accepts the new weight as its stable level. One hormone, called leptin, tells the brain how much body fat is present. When a person loses weight, leptin falls, appetite increases and metabolism slows. Thus, the hormone tells the brain that it does not have enough fat to maintain stability. Additionally, the hormone ghrelin, make dieters’ appetites stronger. Researchers at the University of Melbourne found that the body actually resists weight loss.

One researcher, Dr. Leibel told the New York Times, that losing weight “is not a neutral event,” and that it is no accident that more than 90 percent of people who lose a lot of weight gain it back. “You are putting your body into a circumstance it will resist. You are, in a sense, more metabolically normal when you are at a higher body weight.”

It is a sad reality that weight loss dieters have to work harder to maintain a healthy body weight, and the desire to eat more and work out less is something that will never go away. Although it is is a sad reality, the truth is that overweight and obese individuals will have to work against that force if they want to leave long and healthy lives. Excess weight impacts a person’s job prospects, dating options, economic stability and overall lifespan. Weight loss is a tough battle, but it is worth the hassle. You can do this and lose the weight because the costs are too high to ignore.

Watch doctors and scientists discuss homeostasis challenges in overweight individuals.

Read Next: The Only Effective Way to Lose Weight

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The Only Effective Way to Lose Weight

Photo by Torbak Hopper via flickr

The U.S. weight-loss industry earned $20 billion in 2012, which included diet books, diet drugs and weight-loss surgeries. And yet, the number of obese Americans officially outnumbers the number of overweight Americans. We are at epidemic levels of obesity: 68 percent of all Americans are obese or overweight. What is causing this disconnect? It could be that Americans are looking for weight loss answers in all of the wrong places. As a college nutritional science student, I talk about weight-loss strategies and treatments nearly everyday, and I know that there are several indisputable factors that contribute to obesity. Let’s ignore all of the trendy fad diets and weight loss products dominating the weight loss conversation today and talk about weight loss strategies that actually work.

Weight loss is a subject that we at Ladies Again are interested in because health status greatly impacts an individual’s value in the dating and marriage market. It is simple: Healthy, successful men want to date, marry and reproduce with healthy women who can produce and raise healthy offspring. In general, people are looking for partners who will live long and healthy lives, not shortened lives muddled by the consequences of obesity, such as stroke, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and liver and kidney diseases (obesity may shorten life expectancy up to 14 years). Not to mention that obesity adds up to expensive medical bills (someone has to pay for the doctor’s appointments and medications for diabetes, blood pressure and cholesterol). In sum, losing weight is very challenging, but doing so significantly boosts your overall health and value in the dating market. Weight loss is hard, but always worth the effort.

So what causes obesity? Obesity is caused when the amount of energy inputted into the body exceeds the energy released by the body. It is that simple. When excess fat is consumed and not used, the body stores the fat in fat cells of the adipose tissues. As the fat cells accumulate they expand in size. When the excess fat exceeds the fat cells, it is distributed and deposited in vital organs, such as the heart and the liver, which leads to heart failure and fatty liver. The wonderful thing about the body is that is highly adaptable, so when excess fat is consumed, the fat cells increase in number and expand to accommodate. Unfortunately, this also means that when we lose weight, the fat cells only shrink in size, but never in number. This is why people with excess fat tend to regain lost weight rapidly because their fat cells readily fill. This means that we must work very hard to make sure that excess fat cells do not develop.

Aside from genetic variants, there are two major factors for obesity: high overall caloric intake (high proportion sizes) and physical inactivity. Humans have developed to hunt for our meat or walk long distances for fruits and vegetables. Now, it takes no effort to order a Big Mac or a pizza―you don’t even have to leave your house anymore to order food (we really should say “food” in quotation marks since we’re talking about foods filled with trans fats, high-fructose corn syrup and white flours). Unfortunately, high-caloric food is always within close range, and Americans eat this food in abundance. Second, Americans rarely exercise―we drive to our homes, where we eat pizza on the couch while watching television. There is a misconception that humans need to only exercise 30 minutes per day to stay healthy. “People must be physically active if they are to eat enough food to deliver all the nutrients they need without unhealthy weight gain,” wrote Whitney and Rolfers in Understanding Nutrition. To prevent weight gain, the Dietary Reference Intakes recommends 60 minutes of moderately intense (get that heart rate beating) exercise each day. Per day. More exercise is recommended if losing weight is the goal.

There’s a lot of incorrect weight loss advice floating around. The problem with fad diets is that they are difficult to sustain long-term and often promote inadequate diets (our bodies need a certain amount of carbohydrates, proteins and healthy fats per day to function). Lose weight too quickly, and you risk losing muscle tissue instead of fat, which is dangerous and defeats the point of dieting to maintain optimal health.

So how do you lose weight the safe way? Try these effective nutritional and physical activity strategies:

Nutrition

Set Reasonable Goals
Understand and accept that losing weight is a challenge, and it is dangerous to lose weight too quickly. The safe rate for weight loss is 0.5 to 2 lbs (or 0.2 or 0.9 kg) per week; or 10 percent of body weight every six months.

Reduce Energy Intake
Obesity is caused by an energy imbalance, where more energy is being consumed than expended. So to lose weight safely, a person must increase activity and reduce food intake by creating a deficit of 300 to 500 calories per day (for people with a BMI of 27 to 35). This will produce a weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week, which will make sure that you lose fat but also retain your lean muscle tissue.

Retail Shelf Photo
Shop on the outskirts of the grocery store to avoid junk food.

Emphasize Nutritional Adequacy
Each day, healthy humans need to eat a certain amount of carbohydrates, proteins and fats to maintain bodily functioning. Out of all of the calories we consume, 45-65 percent should be carbohydrates (fruits, vegetables, whole grains), 20-35 percent should be fats and 10-35 should be protein. You need a balance of all three nutrients.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABCDEFGH[/youtube]Fad diets that tell dieters to reduce carbohydrates never work because we need good carbs to function properly. Too little carbohydrates isn’t good because the body takes proteins and turns them into glucose in a process called gluconeogenesis. Your brain and muscles need glucose from carbs to function! Also, the body cannot process too much protein, so our bodies excrete the amino acids through our urea (this puts stress on our kidneys).

Try to eat a diet of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes and lean protein, such as turkey or seafood. So to lose weight, simply consume less of all of the food you eat, but continue to eat a balanced diet. Do not reduce your proportion of carbohydrates, proteins or fat―only reduce your total caloric intake.

Shop Differently
Bigbox grocery stores tend to put packaged foods in the center of the store. Excluding whole grain pastas and jarred vegetables, most of the valuable nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables, lean meats and dairy products are located on the outskirts of the grocery store aisles; the junk foods are all in the center. Try shopping by avoiding the center aisles of your grocery stores. Or simply try shopping at farmer’s markets. Finally, get in the habit of reading nutritional labels. Check for processed sugars, “natural flavors” (which are actually just fragrances) and artery-clogging trans fats.

Minor Tips

A few other nutritional changes you can make:

  • Eat slower: Allow your body to tell your brain that you have reached satiety and are full. Fast eating correlates with higher weights.
  • Drink water: Try to go one week by just drinking water to quench your thirst and nothing else. Why? Because sugar-sweetened beverages have been closely linked to obesity. Also, water, increases fullness and reduces hunger, and consequently reduces energy intake.
  • Don’t eat 3 hours before bed: Your body needs time to process your meal, so don’t eat too late at night.

Finally, think of your body as a temple. Dismiss and ignore empty caloric drinks and snacks. You have too many life goals and things to offer than to put a 700-calorie burger in your body. Your body is too precious to treat it like a garbage can. Remember that the next time you pass by a cupcake shop.

Read Next: Why You Are Failing At Work-Life Balance

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