20 Facts about Sex Feminists Don’t Want You To Know

Women smiling

I just returned from a three-week tour of Central America. While there, I joined members of my group tour in going out to dinner in Rio Dulce, a bay city in Guatemala. At dinner, I had the pleasure of getting to know a young Australian woman,19 years old, on the trip who seemed to have sex, dating and marriage all figured out. She was tall and naturally beautiful, with long brown hair that extended down her back. Despite her young age, she decided that marriage was bullshit and unnecessary (she thought of marriage as a relic from old history), that men actually like opinionated and strong women, and that it was okay to sleep around while you are figuring out life. She was loud, masculine and opinionated; a middle school boy’s fantasy tomboy come to life.

We were both fresh out of failed long-term relationships. She broke up with her boyfriend so she could be free to travel, and I broke up with my long-term boyfriend because he refused to get married. As I sat at the table trying to explain my newfound desires to get married and have children, she shook her head, saying “Life is for living! Don’t be so rigid!”As she spoke, some of the men at the table nodded in agreement. They wanted to enjoy their youth too by hooking up, experimenting and traveling. Nearly everyone at the table (besides the one couple in our group) said that they wanted to settle down and get married in their late thirties or early forties. When they were ready, of course.

I was the odd woman out at the table trying to share some of the knowledge about dating and relationships I learned over the past few years. Knowledge about the declining fertility and beauty of women and about the emotional baggage of useless hookups. But the young Australian did not want to hear it. Eventually, I gave up after I realized that the differences between us―at 26 years old, I was at an age where I am beginning to see the physical consequences of casual sex and careless living.

I have felt the sadness of causal empty sex with hookups and the resulting loneliness. I have friends who are already single parents, unmarried friends who are stuck in rental leases with ex-partners they despise and relatives on the verge of divorce (I myself am actually the product of careless hookup sex―my father was married to another woman when I was born and I am just three months older than one of my brothers). Worst of all, I have female friends over the age of 35 who may have missed their opportunity to get married because they spent their entire youth (when they were at their sexual peak) working overtime at the office to get ahead. These women are the most regretful people I have ever met.


But to the young Australian, life was for the taking. She is beautiful and her career is on the way up. If she is getting everything she wants now and a constant stream of compliments from men, why should she need to think that someday men will stop finding her attractive? Or that the men at the table will have the opportunity to pick up family life and marriage any time they want (usually with younger women), but that she will not have those options if she waits too long? I dropped the topic because I realized that I was wasting my time.

I also realized with shocking horror that I was talking in real-time to my past self. The Australian girl was me! When I was 19, I would not have listened to my blabbing about fertility and marriage either. Why, I had a career to pursue! There were other women at the table from Western countries (the U.K., Germany, the Netherlands) who shared the young Australian’s sentiments―that marriage was oppressive and restricting, that having a family was not everything and that a woman’s independence and career should come first. I felt sickened at that moment with feminism’s ability to to defy not just logic but also geographical barriers. That flawed ideology has spread across the world, infecting young women by tricking them into believing that they can have everything―the loyal, attractive husband, the high-flying career, loving and stable children―all without having to lose anything in return, like fertility, independence or femininity. Lies! All of it lies!

If I could go back to my younger self, I would share all of the facts that paint a different picture about female independence, love and marriage:

Fertility is More Relevant Than Your Bullshit Career

  • After 25, female fertility slowly drops off. After 30, the decline in fertility begins to hasten. By 35, difficulty in conceiving children is commonplace and accounts for the boom in fertility clinics. By 40 you are playing Russian roulette.
  • One in five men who remarry wed a woman at least 10 years their junior, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of Census data. By contrast, only one in 20 men on their first marriage pair up with someone that young.
  • While 80 percent of men in their first marriages have spouses within five years of their age, that share drops to 57 percent by the second marriage.
  • Men across the age spectrum have a sexual preference for women in their mid-20s. This remains true for men of all ages—men in their early-20s or younger are attracted to women older than themselves and older men are attracted to younger women.

Hookup Sex is Terrible

  • In one study, among participants who were asked to characterize the morning after a hookup, 82 percent of men and 57 percent of women were generally glad they had done it. Forty-three percent of women regretted it! [Thanks to Hooking Up Smart for finding the statistics]
  • In a sample of 507 undergraduate students, more women than men hoped that a relationship would develop following a hookup. Only 4.4 percent of men and 8.2 percent of women (6.45 percent of participants) expected a traditional romantic relationship as an outcome, while 29 percent of men and 42.9 percent of women (36.57 percent of participants) ideally wanted such an outcome (Garcia & Reiber, 2008).
  • Twelve percent of women say that it is sometimes easier to have sex with a guy they don’t know than to make conversation (Glenn, Norval and Marquardt, Elizabeth, 2001).
  • In a study of 832 college students, 26 percent of women and 50 percent of men reported feeling positive after a hookup, and 49 percent of women and 26 percent of men reported a negative reaction.
  • In a qualitative study that asked 187 participants to report their feelings after a typical hookup, 35 percent reported feeling regretful or disappointed, 27 percent good or happy, 20 percent satisfied, 11 percent confused, 9 percent proud, 7 percent excited or nervous, 5 percent uncomfortable, and 2 percent desirable or wanted (Paul & Hayes, 2002).
  • In a large Web-based study of 1,468 undergraduate students, participants reported a variety of consequences: 27.1 percent felt embarrassed, 24.7 percent reported emotional difficulties, 20.8 percent experienced loss of respect, and 10 percent reported difficulties with a steady partner (Lewis et al., 2011).
  • In another recent study conducted on a sample of 200 undergraduate students in Canada, 78 percent of women and 72 percent of men who had uncommitted sex (including vaginal, anal, and/or oral sex) reported a history of experiencing regret following such an encounter (Fisher et al., 2012).
  • In a study of 270 sexually active college-age students, 72 percent regretted at least one instance of previous sexual activity (Oswalt, Cameron, & Koob, 2005).
  • In a report of 152 female undergraduate students, 74 percent had either a few or some regrets from uncommitted sex: 61 percent had a few regrets, 23 percent had no regrets, 13 percent had some regrets and 3 percent had many regrets (Eshbaugh & Gute, 2008).
  • In a study of 140 (109 female, 31 male) first-semester undergraduates, women, but not men, who had engaged in intercourse during a hookup showed higher rates of mental distress (Fielder & Carey, 2010).

He Does Not Like You Just Because He Has Sex with You

  • He is going to ejaculate, whether he likes you or not: Men reached orgasm more often than women. In first-time hookups, 31 percent of men and 10 percent of women reached orgasm; in last relationship sexual activity, 85 percent of men and 68 percent of women reached orgasm.
  • Armstrong, England and Fogarty (2009) addressed sexual satisfaction in a large study of online survey responses from 12,295 undergraduates from 17 different colleges. Participants were asked about oral sex rates and orgasm in their most recent hookup and most recent relationship sexual event. In this study, men reported receiving oral sex both in hookups and in relationships much more than women.
  • In first-time hookups that involved oral sex, 55 percent included only men receiving oral sex, 19 percent only women receiving oral sex, and 27 percent both mutually receiving; in last relationship sexual activity, 32 percent included only men receiving oral sex, 16 percent included only women receiving oral sex, and 52 percent included both mutually receiving.

Independent Women are Lonely Women

  • People with higher numbers of past sexual partners were more likely to form hookups, and to report lower relationship quality. Through the acquisition of partners they begin to favor short-term relationships and find the long-term ones less rewarding. (Paik)
  • A third of unmarried women have not had sex in the past year, compared with less about a quarter of the men. About 20 percent of single women have sex two or more times per week.

Your Career is Not Everything

  • According to Pew, a strong majority of working moms (62%) would rather work part time; a job situation enjoyed by just 26% of working mothers. Over a decade ago, just 48% of working mothers said a part-time job would be ideal.
  • Fully 79% of working fathers prefer to work full time, while just 21% say part-time employment would be ideal

Divorce is a Mistake

  • You can get the divorce if you want to, but there are consequences. Fully 64 percent of divorced or widowed men have remarried, compared with 52 percent of previously married women. (Pew)

In closing, here’s great advice from blogger Susan Walsh that I learned the hard way:

“When a man shows interest he won’t know right away whether you go into the short-term box or the long-term box. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, being very selective about sex is one way of ensuring you’re perceived as potential [long-term relationship] material. Signaling your willingness to have sex immediately with a man you just met says that you are not particularly selective, so there is nothing special about this man. You’re also signaling that there is nothing very special about sex. It’s the fastest route to “one and done.”

Read next: I’m a Woman with a Career I Don’t Want

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Why I’ve Decided to Start Wearing Heels

This week, Ladies Again kicks off “31 Days of Heels,” our campaign to encourage feminine women to look their best every day. The campaign has a special meaning for me, as I just recently came to conclusion that I barely put forth an effort into my physical appearance.

Heels, Photo by Fashion by He via Flickr
Photo by Fashion by He via Flickr

Like most American women, I came into age believing that it was only necessary to make the effort to dress up only for certain occasions, such as late nights out with friends, theater shows or special occasions. Since I was not a celebrity or socialite, it just didn’t seem to make sense to me to take the time to look nice on a everyday basis. This is how I justified skipping the high heels for the comfy moccasin flats, forgoing the smokey eyeshadow for the plain unassuming black eyeliner and letting my flat iron literally get dusty. My thought process was, if I’m already skinny and attractive, why should I have to do more? I have a college degree dammit! Won’t the guy who likes me respect the fact that I am not shallow and self-absorbed enough to fret excessively over my appearance?

The answer is no, no he will not appreciate my intellect if I do not create the opportunity for him to notice my existence first. One opportunity comes before the other. Men like “shiny things,” as talk show host Steve Harvey said in his bestselling book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” And he’s right: One 2013 survey found that men are much more sexually aroused by visual stimuli, while women are more sexually aroused by concrete, auditory, olfactory, touch and emotionally relevant sexual stimulation. As a woman, I can feel the reality of Harvey’s words when I take the time to enhance my appearance―I receive a much higher response from men when I wear my hair long (or put in hair extensions, let’s be honest), apply makeup, slip into a form-fitting dress and strap on a pair of fabulous heels.

Now, while I realize that looking “shiny” is important, my ongoing goal is to look “shiny” and feminine everyday, not just when I feel up for making the effort. Unfortunately, as a busy single career woman, more often than not, I look shoddy, unkempt and well…like a typical American woman. Or worse, I look business ready in my slacks and flat shoes, but not sexy. In order for me to improve my appearance, I need to make femininity a habit by committing to dressing up everyday. One way to start is to take femininity one day at a time.

Today, I’ll start by wearing heels. High heels display the female form to advantage and are one the simplest ways to look feminine. In the past, I avoided heels for two main reasons: First, heels are painful (and dangerous), and second, heels are impractical.

Photo by Iam Khatuvi a Flickr
Photo by Iam Khatuvi a Flickr

First, there is no denying that high heels can be painful, depending on the height of the high-heeled shoe, the point of the heel and the quality of the materials used to make the shoe. Anyone who has seen amateur heel-wearers leave a nightclub has seen the pain that high-heeled shoes can inflict on unsuspecting victims. High-heeled shoes have been known to cause corns, calluses, ingrown toe nails and painful, aching bunions (also known as bony protrusions) that appear at the base of the big toe and distort the shape of the foot. Also, amateur heel-wearers take the risk of tripping and toppling over in their sky-high heels.

Second, heels are tragically impractical. A high-heel-wearer cannot walk for miles in their shoes, nor can they walk safely in rainy or snowy weather. And as a bicyclist, the idea of commuting in a pair of high heels terrifies me, considering that a heel could easily slip into a pedal and cause me to fall off my bike. It is just much easier to put on a pair of boring flat shoes than it is struggle and wobble in a pair of painful heels.

So what is a girl to do if she wants to look feminine by wearing heels all month long but is afraid of the pain she is sure to endure? If you are also taking the heel challenge, there’s a few things that can help you get through the month:

  • Start small. Start with low two- or three-inch high heels first and gradually move up to six inch pumps.
  • Select the right shoe: Choose a shoe with a relatively wide toe, laces or a strap across the top of the foot which prevent the foot from sliding forward in the shoe and straps or other materials that enclose the ankles entirely.
  • Choose a stable shoe with a chunky heels, such as an espadrille, as opposed to a spiky heel.
  • Apply padded insoles to your shoes. Padding helps with foot pain and provides a buffer between you and the high heel.

Practice makes perfect. Tweet us pictures of your high heels using the #ladiesagain hastag. Good luck ladies!

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Did You Take the Ladies Again Heel Pledge?

Shoes, Photo by Fouquier via Flickr
Photo by Fouquier via Flickr

For the next month, we’re encouraging aspiring feminine ladies to participate in “31 Days of Heels,” our month-long event where women are taking the challenge to wear heels everyday this month. Join us in looking and feeling sexy this month! Wear your heels at work, at the club, at church and with family. They can be a low as two inches or 6-inches; wedges or stilettos! Take photo of your shoes and share your photos by using the hashtag #ladiesagain.

Why are we wearing heels this month? We’re doing this because we acknowledge the scientific fact that high heels display the female form to advantage. As the campaign gets underway, we’ll publish articles that explore the importance of high heels. Wear those heels ladies!

Contest Rules

We’re giving away items all throughout January as part of “31 Days of Heels.” The goal of this contest is to get the word out about this new movement to empower women through femininity. As you know, here at Ladies Again, we are all about accentuating women’s natural strengths. We want to (as much as possible) encourage women to love who they are as women and not try to become men, just because they feel it is the only way they can get ahead.

There is a saying that “you can’t beat a man at his own game”, and the truth is we are not going to be able to outshine men by trying to become like them. Being a feminine woman is a beautiful thing with inherent strengths. So, with this contest, we are hoping to encourage women to “take back femininity” by embracing a tried and true tradition and method of bringing men to their knees…the high heel!

That’s right, ladies. We are strutting our stuff in the month of January and getting women talking about how awesome it is to be women again. We’re getting rid of the fear and embracing the power of the feminine. It’s like Marianne Williamson’s famous quote:

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? …. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

So, shine ladies! There’s no better time! We want to encourage you to wear those heels, and feel free to share with us your stories about how wearing heels has changed your world. Are people taking notice more? Did it bring back the spark in your marriage? Did it make you feel sexy again?

The icing on the cake is that we’re giving out prizes! Yes, that’s right. This is a contest and the winners will receive Ladies Again Swag Bags! The swag bags will contain an assortment of fashion accessories, including:

  • Four pair of earrings
  • Four necklaces
  • Cute furry ear muffs
  • Bedazzled cellphone case
  • a signature fragrance spray

At the end of the month there will be a raffle drawing. Two winners will be selected. One will be selected based on the number of entries, and another will be selected via a random drawing. You can enter as many times as you like.

Swag Bag Photo
Lady’s again Rihanna “Rogue Love” signature swag bag
photo 2
Ladies again Queen Latifah “Queen of hearts” signature swag bag

There are many ways to enter the “31 Days of Heels” contest:

  1. Tweet, Instagram or Facebook a picture of your heels with the hashtag #ladiesagain (one post good for one entry and every share is another entry).
  2. Comment on any article on ladies again (each comment relevant to any blog post or conversations happening in the comment section are good for one entry…spam/random comments will have you eliminated from the contest).
  3. Share an article (using the #ladiesagain hashtag will help us track your entries, but if you don’t use the hashtag, email us at lilacblue[at]ladiesagain[dot]com with a link to your post so we can count it towards your entry).
  4. Do a blog post (write a blog post on your blog and include a link to the “31 Days of Heels” challenge). You can email us a copy of the article so we can count it towards an entry for you.
  5. Do a YouTube video that references the “31 Days of Heels” challenge on Ladies Again and put a link to Ladies Again in the description. The video, plus the link are good for two entries.

How the winner will be selected:

  • Our team will tally the scores at the end of each day and keep track of all entrants on a spreadsheet
  • Every day a leader board will be updated with the top 5 contestants and how many entries they have submitted throughout the contest
  • In the end the person with the most entries, will win a swag bag
  • The second swag bag will be distributed via a random drawing (obviously, people with more entries will be at a slight advantage)
  • The winner will be selected randomly


Creative tweets, posts, videos and blog posts may be shared via the comments section of Ladies Again (so you might earn yourself some personal publicity as well!)

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Healthy again: Fat friends, skinny friends

I’m a people watcher.

It’s a trait that I think is related  to my being the middle child in a big family, studying psychology and being “an artist.”

Whether that’s correlation or causation, I couldn’t tell you. However, I do recommend that anyone going through a transformative journey begin now to practice people watching.

Specifically what should you be watching for?

Watch for whatever quality you are seeking for yourself. I have read many books and heard many gurus recommend getting a mentor as one of the keys to success.

In The Science of Getting Rich, Walter Wattles says:

…You fix attention upon the common, the ordinary, the poor, and the squalid and mean; and your mind takes the form of these things. Then you will transmit these forms or mental images to the Formless, and the common, the poor, the squalid, and mean will come to you.

To permit your mind to dwell upon the inferior is to become inferior and to surround yourself with inferior things.”

He talks about focusing your attention on the beautiful and good things you desire with gratitude. The best selling book and movie, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne talks about this as well. It talks about focusing only on the thing which you desire.

Fat friend, skinny friend

“Elvis lives”, Flickr Creative Commons

In the case of getting healthy again, this is the difference between seeing fat people walking around and saying “at least I’m not that fat” versus focusing on the fit and healthy people around you and saying “Wow! She looks great! Just a few more months at the gym and I’ll look just like that!” One is focusing on being fat, while the other thought is focusing on what the person truly desires.

Robert Kyosaki’s world famous book Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the rich teach their kids about investing that the poor and middle class don’t, is a prime example of the idea that there is a definite difference in thinking in people at different stations in life. The Bible says:

“You shall know a tree by it’s fruit…” -Matthew 7:16-20

For this reason, I have taken to observing the habits of my skinny, healthy and slender friends versus my fat and unhealthy friends.

Reason being, to understand what each does and how each lives their life. The fact of the matter is, if you really want a thing, the journey to getting there is only a matter of learning and doing.

Of course you can watch youtube channels and follow workout gurus on instagram and twitter, but from there you will only get a snap shot of what is really going on in their lives. The best way to learn these things is up close and intimately, the way the disciples walked with Jesus. Doing this will help help you understand better. This is one of the primary principles that Tai Lopez (a living-the-good-life guru) teaches. I believe that face to face mentorship is more effective because of the effect of what neuroscientists call “mirror neurons” in our brains.

For this reason, I will be writing a series of articles in the coming weeks about my observations about the differences between my heavier friends (their habits and lifestyles) and those of my less healthy and overweight friends. I hope you’ll tune it.

Have you noticed a difference between your fat friends’ behavior and habits and those of your skinny friends? Share your observations in the comments below!

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Easy Makeup Strategies for Lazy Women

Photo by Amie Fedora via Flickr

Like many many women, I am usually too busy to apply makeup on a daily basis because I am frequently rushing out of my home in the mornings to make it to work on time. I have, however, been trying my best over the past year to break my habit of skipping out on makeup application in the morning. One of the best things I have done to limit my makeup-less habit is to find simple ways to apply my makeup quickly and effortlessly. Check out beauty videos online to find helpful makeup shortcuts. Below, you will find a few of my favorite videos:

From Extra Petite:

Simple makeup tips for darker-skinned beauties:

Everyday basic makeup routine:

A classic office look:

Learn how to make your simple black eyeliner last:

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Introducing book of the month challenges on Ladies Again

Ladies Again Book of the MonthThe mission of Ladies Again is not just to hate on feminists, but to help today’s women to reclaim their femininity. For this reason, we are introducing a “Book of the Month”.

What this means is that every month, we will be introducing a new book that exemplifies our mission that we will read together as  a group.

But to add to the fun of it, we will only be picking (what I like to call) “process books”. These are books that not only teach a lesson, but also contains some step-by-step guidelines, tutorials or processes that we can follow to actually produce a real and tangible transformation.

Better still, we’ll be issuing challenges to our readers and subscribers to encourage participation. The challenges will be relevant to whatever the book is about, and people will be given specific instructions. The challenges will not be hard, and designed to teach you how to do something (not to overtax you). Most likely, the challenges will be taken directly from the book of the month. So, as much as it is possible, try to get your hands on a copy of the book. We will put as much information about the challenges on here as possible, but it’s always better to get the book to help you understand more.

So, here’s the process:

Step 1. Purchase the textbook of the month.

Step 2. Follow along each week by reading the “selected reading”.

Step 3. Keep looking out for the weekly challenges.

Step 4. Submit your assignments either via comment box or email.

Step 5. People who complete assignments will be entered into drawings to win prizes. Keep checking back to see the winners of the challenges.

As always, if you have any questions, comments or even suggestions for a book you want us to work with; drop a comment in the comments section or email us! We look forward to hearing from you!

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Selling out vs selling it: Why makeovers are not evil!

I remember when I got my first weave.

I was in college and I had been regularly wearing my hair in braids, because it was just easier to manage. My hair was natural, African hair (i.e. no relaxer) and I had not quite learned to style it up until that point. I don’t know why I decided to get a weave, but I remember feeling like everyone would know it was a weave and people would make fun of me, or worse, think I was trying to be cute!

Yes, that was a real fear of mine. Looking back, I think that fear came from a deep-seated belief that I just was not cute and if I tried to dress up like I was trying to be, people would expose me for the imposter I was.

Strangely enough, nobody said anything. However, somewhere inside, I was constantly feeling some sense of guilt that I was being complimented for something that really wasn’t reflective of who I considered myself to be.

Now-a-days, I wear weaves on-and-off. Mostly I wear weaves for special occasions like weddings, etc. There definitely is a difference in the way people treat you when you are all “dolled up”. People look at you longer. People listen more. Whether you like it or not, appearance matters!

We talk a lot about transformations here on Ladies Again. We are constantly trying to encourage our readers to give up the baggy jeans and tennis shoes and invest in make up and push up bras! However, we understand why this can be difficult for many women. Some women feel like putting on make up and spending time on their hair is being fake or selling out.

People feel this way for a lot of reasons. For me, it was because I spent so much of my childhood as the wallflower who secretly envied the pretty girls yet was surrounded by negative friends (read: feminists in the making) who were constantly talking smack about those girls. They would say things like:

  • Those girls are stuck up
  • Those girls are not that smart
  • Those girls are mean
  • Those girls don’t make good girlfriends/wives

Yet as time went on, I met and became friends with many beautiful women who were kind, generous, devoted, and loyal wives, sisters, friends and girlfriends. On top of that, many of my male friends who were constantly talking smack about the pretty girls to me, secretly had crushes on many of these girls.

Eventually, I had to get over the lies that I had been fed all those years that those girls were somehow a different caliber of people. Ultimately, I had to get rid of this whole idea that somehow wearing makeup, nice clothes and a cute hairstyle does something to your insides as well.

I mentioned in a previous post that I wanted to talk about how to be universally appealing without selling out. That’s what I hope to do here.

My biggest fear

I’m a Christian, and a very strong one at that. I believe in Jesus, forgiveness and heaven. I believe that the world is full of corruption and a relationship with God is our only hope for salvation. Unfortunately, somehow, in the lessons I learned about being a good Christian, somewhere along the lines I consumed a message that said that “pretty girls like to sin”. It was probably jealous friends who hung out with the frumpy crowd (of which I was among at the time). The fact of the matter is that everyone sins, the Bible even says so; and some of those girls who were hating on the pretty girls were also exploring their fleshly desires in secret corners with horny guys as well.

I would like to express that after all those years hiding my beauty and standing back while the pretty girls got to pick which guy they wanted, I eventually began spending time with some of these beautiful ladies. After getting to know them, I found that many of them were just like me, and that the only difference between pretty girls and ugly girls is the time they spend on their appearance.

Putting it in plainer terms: pretty girls have the same insecurities and feel the same pain that everyone else does. The only difference is that they look really good while they’re experiencing it.

Selling it versus selling out

The issue of selling out who you are to get a date or to fit in with a group of people is a legitimate issue, though. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it isn’t. There are cliques that will literally try to haze you before accepting you as one of them (and acceptance may still not be guaranteed after that).

I want to get one thing straight. This point I’m about to make is so important that I’m going to leave it at that, because if you don’t understand anything else in this article, try your best to understand this. Here it is: repackaging yourself is just so that you can get people to look and you do not have to completely change who you are (eg. values, morals, etc.)

Once you have mastered this, and guys are going out of their way to talk to you, you will be in a better position to get the guy of your dreams, because you’ll have many more guys to choose from!

Want to continue the conversation? Leave a message in the comment box below!

 Read Next: Are you the Person the Person You’re Looking For is Looking For?

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Healthy Again: Should you lower your weight loss expectations?

does-this-dress-make-me-look-fat-white-liesStarting Weight: 223.2
Current Weight: 222.2

So, I lost some weight…

A whopping ONE POUND!

And yes, I’m being sarcastic.

I have a confession to make.

I am very hard on myself, and I believe that is why I am a binge eater.

I remember when I had lost 70 pounds 3 years ago. (image of weight loss transformation here: link)

As the weight began creeping back up, I remember thinking, with every pound I gained that everyone was looking at me and thinking about how fat I was and how much weight I was gaining. Obviously, beating myself up in this was has not helped, because I still gained 60 pounds back!

Losing a lot of weight and keeping it off long term is a process that requires mental perseverance. Beating yourself up repeatedly is often more crippling than it is motivating (as I have found). I picked on myself regularly calling everyday “Day One” of my new diet.

It wasn’t until recently (within the past year), that I started hanging out with supportive women who were constantly telling me (in a very sincere way) how attractive I am and consequently, my confidence began to build.

So, OK, I was being sarcastic before. But actually, I think that what I need more than anything right now is to celebrate that small victory. That one pound I lost over the past month. Those faithful days when I braced the cold weather and went running. The times I intentionally chose to eat food items that were consistent with my nutrition commitment. I need to celebrate (Hashtag: partylikeitsmybirthday …as they say in da streetz)!

So, if you’re following me on Twitter, show me some love by sending me a message with the hashtags #onepoundskinnier and/or #sexyclap. I promise I’ll respond and we can celebrate together!

Thanks for your support!

 Read Next: Healthy Again | Day 16

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Healthy Again: Can Your Really Change Your Genetic Destiny?

image source: http://www.blogaboutwomen.com

So, my healthy again journey is going well.

If you are following me on twitter, you’ll see that since I started the #sexyclap/#fattyslap accountability system, I have been consistent with getting in my morning runs before 9AM. (“Hashtag: winning!” as they say in da streetz)

As for my nutrition commitment, I had not been doing as well,…until now.

I’m starting an interesting new nutrition lifestyle based off of a book by a doctor who claims you can “change your genetic destiny to live the longest, fullest, and healthiest life possible.”

I even created a blog dedicated to the GenoType I was assigned by the book. The site link is below.

On my diet blog, I will be describing my journey to live the lifestyle this doctor recommends and documenting what I notice in terms of health, wellness and ease of adaptability.

Also, depending on how effective it is and how successful I am at maintaining it, I hope to make it a resource unto itself for others with the same GenoType who are seeking empowerment in living the lifestyle. Feel free to check out the blog or follow me on twitter. Links below.


My GenoType Diet blog: www.gatherergenotype.com

My twitter account: www.twitter.com/fastinggirl

Article about Genotype Diet: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-boblett/what-is-the-genotype-diet_b_813812.html

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Healthy Again: #Bingeconfessions, #fattyslap and accountability

Since my first “Healthy Again” post, I have been running on and off, but not consistently.

Since then I’ve created a hashtag called #bingeconfessions where I have to confess every time I binge.

I want to start other ways to keep myself accountable for my weight loss journey.

I have decided that I’m going to also send out an automatic tweet to my Twitter followers at 9AM everyday reminding them to send me a #fattyslap if they have not seen a tweet from “MapMyWalk” yet saying that I have done some running.

So, the rule is, when you see a tweet that says:

twitterslap“It’s 9AM! You know what that means… #sexyclap or #fattyslap?”

That means that if you’ve seen my running tweet of the day, send me a tweet @fastinggirl on twitter including the hashtag #sexyclap and if there has been no running tweet that day, send me a tweet including the hashtag #fattyslap.

I think it would be cool if more people joined in on this in order to inspire each other to workout and get in the habit of keeping our fitness commitments!

Are you looking for a fitness accountability partner? Leave your twitter handle in the comment section below and let us know how we can help!

Read Next: I’m fat because I have a Job and other Excuses

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