The Bachelor: Cooking Skills Matter

The Bachelor Review image

Can you cook? That is the major question hovering over this week’s episode of The Bachelor. As with every episode, there’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

In terms of action or drama, this episode was pretty bland. Ben takes the women to Mexico City for an adventurous trip. He takes one solo woman along a tour of the historical ruins and goes on another one-on-one date with another woman at a fashion show. He liked and kissed both women. Next he takes a large group of women on a group date, where they learn conversational Spanish and later compete in a cooking challenge. One woman is escorted out and eliminated unceremoniously for having a bad attitude.

Learning Lessons

Cooking Skills Seal the Deal: In the group date, the women who knew how to cook won the date with the guy. It seems like the The Bachelor is imitating real life right there. We’re working on getting better with cooking at Ladies Again.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Don’t Show Your Grumpy Side: There is a point on the group date where it is clear that one woman, named Jubilee, has had it with group-dating the Bachelor. And she’s right, it is strange to have multiple women date, kiss and snuggle with the same man day after day. But, it is a strange situation that she signed up for willing, so there is no reason to pout and be negative on The Bachelor since she agreed to participate in the dating arrangement. Instead, she should have left the show gracefully like a lady if she was unhappy. Real ladies maintain their composure in the face of adversity.

Leave the Ex-boyfriend Talk Alone: One woman on a date discussed her rocky past with an ex-boyfriend. She mentioned that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her multiple times. Why would she share this information on a date? No good could come from discussing a former spouse with someone you just met, especially not a former spouse who cheated on you. Doing so lowers your mating market value because you are admitting that someone else thought so poorly of you that they cheated on you multiple times. Leave this conversation for your therapist, not your boyfriend.

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The Bachelor: Attack of the Insecure

THE BACHELOR

I think ABC executives should just change the name of the show The Bachelor to The Kisser. Why? It’s clear that the star bachelor Ben Higgins fancies kissing because he does a lot of it with the lady contestants! This may be the first season of The Bachelor where I’ve seen a man make out with several women in a short time span. As with every episode, there’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

The episode starts with Higgins going on a private date with one contestant. He kisses her while the others watch from from a hotel room above; one woman cries when she sees Higgins kiss the other woman. Then the bachelor takes his harem of women to Las Vegas, where they have to show off their personal talents to a studio audience. One woman, named Olivia, does not have a talent and decides to wear a skimpy Vegas outfit and jump out of a cake. She goes through great pains to coordinate the cake logistics and put on her revealing outfit, but does not take any time to plan what she will do after she burst out of the cake. Instead, she stands there naked on the stage and kicks her legs haphazardly. It was awkward.

The cast of The Bachelor
The cast of The Bachelor.

Next, Higgins and a lady contestant serve as an ordained minister at a wedding chapel in Vegas for couples who have made the hasty and impulsive decision to get married at a cheesy chapel in Vegas by reality TV show stars (the state of Nevada, by the way, has the highest divorce rate in the U.S.). Higgins asks the lady contestant what’s it is like to an adult virgin and they later kiss passionately.

This season of The Bachelor is unique in that there is a set of twins on the show. How cute—incestuous twins dating and kissing the same guy! Actually, it’s not cute. Things got weird when he went to the twins’s home in Vegas and met their mother, who tried to help Higgins pick which one of her daughter’s that he wanted to continue dating. Weird. He eliminated one twin while she was sitting in her living room.

Learning Lessons

No Role Models: None of the women exhibited exemplary classy behavior this week folks.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Insecurity is not Sexy: Olivia made a fool of herself, then apologized for making a fool of herself. Then she apologized again. Then she cried on camera. Then she apologized again. Then, the next day, she gave Higgins a slice of cheesecake to apologize. If you make a mistake, own up to it, but not that much. She only needed to apologize once. Being too apologetic made her look insecure, weak and fragile. She should have laughed off her mistake, then keep it moving.

Forget About Your Ex-boyfriend: Things got pretty strange with the twins when Higgins went to one of the twins’s room and saw that it was decorated with several pictures of her ex-boyfriend. Always destroy all evidence of your ex-boyfriend. God help you if you’re divorced. Otherwise, your new beau will feel like he is competing with the person you used to date. No one wants to feel second-best, so get rid of all photos and memorabilia from the days your were with your ex-boyfriend.

Learn How to Walk in Heels: When one contestant, named Amber, was eliminated from the show, she took off her heels and walked away from the rose ceremony barefoot. I HATE seeing women who either cannot walk in high heeled shoes or choose to walk down the goddamn street barefoot. A few rules: First, if you cannot walk in high heels gracefully, do not wear heels. Second, if you want to learn how to walk in heels, start with low-heeled shoes first. Finally, choose to wear thick wedge shoes lieu of spiky stilettos, since the wedge shoes will give you more foot support. Learn more about walking in heels with our article “Science Shows: High Heels do not Oppress Women, They Make Us Awesome!”

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The Bachelor Review: Unnecessary Drama

The Bachelor Review image

This week’s episode of the The Bachelor, is full of drama, but not in a good way. As with every episode, there’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

This week’s episode was full of drama between the women, and not a whole lot of romance with the leading bachelor. The episode starts with Bachelor Ben Higgins taking one woman on a private helicopter ride around the Los Angeles area. He takes her to a hot tub that magically appears outside in a deserted field. They kiss. He then goes on a group date with many women who play an intense game of team soccer. One group wins and he goes on a date with them as a group. The group date ended with all of the women gathering to gossip about another lady contestant’s feet and breath. Higgins ends the episode by going on a private date with one woman, who happens to be a war veteran. They have what’s looks like an awkward and overly emotional date, where she cries about being adopted. The woman left at the house don’t all of the attention that the veteran contestant receives from the bachelor, so they conspire to confront her. The veteran avoids the confrontation and cries with Higgins instead.

There was a lot of crying and outbursts in this episode, so I ended up fast-forwarding through much of it. I enjoy watching the show for all of the accidental social commentary on dating and relationships, but sometimes the producers at ABC take the trivial drama too far. Why must so many women cry in every episode because they didn’t have enough quality time with the bachelor? Obviously, as a viewer, I understand that many of the women are exaggerating their emotions and putting on an act for the cameras. Every scene does not need to be this melodramatic tear-fest.

Learning Lessons

Owning Your Flaws: Olivia, the most competitive contestant, managed to steal Higgins away this episode, which made several other contestants jealous. They acted on their envy by gossiping about her feet, breast size and breath. When Olivia heard about the gossip, she shrugged it off and told the camera deadpanned “I have horrible feet, I know it.” She owned her faults, and kept things moving. I respect her ability to move on from the petty gossip.

Comforting Your Spouse in Need: Toward the end of the episode, Higgins revealed that a relative passed away. Olivia used the opportunity to ignore his issues and talk to Higgins about her cankles. This was an insensitive thing to do. Jubilee, on the other hand, reached out to Higgins and asked how she could comfort him. She ended up giving him a back massage, which he enjoyed. Jubilee gets points for finding a way to make her spouse feel better during hard times, something that all caring women should do.

Knowing When to Walk Away: Lace, the insecure contestant, quit the show. This was a good decision because she was coming across as needy, jealous and desperate on camera. Higgins did not seem to look sad when Lace said that she was leaving, so she made a good choice. Lace’s situation is one that I think every single person can relate to―you cannot make someone like you, no matter how hard you try to force it. If someone is not returning your phone calls, taking the initiative to text you or even desiring to be seen with you in public, please understand that they do not like you as much as you like them. Walk away.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Being Bitter: Jami leaves the show and says that she feels silly for believing that another person could love her. She ranted in her exiting confessional about how much men have disappointed her and that all people are disappointing. Why would anyone want to date someone that is bitter to that level about love and dating?

Chewing with Your Mouth Open: On three occasions in the episode, Jubilee was caught practicing poor dinner etiquette. She literally spit out caviar on a date and latter stuffed her mouth with crackers. Later in the episode, she was talking to a group of women and had so much food in her mouth that she had to grip the table while she swallowed. Always remember to take smaller bites, especially when you are eating around other people. She could benefit from taking an etiquette class or reviewing basic dinner etiquette pointers.

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The Bachelor Review: High School Lessons

The cast of The Bachelor

Can you use science to find out if you’re compatible with another person? That’s the question raised this week in the latest episode of ABC’s The Bachelor. As with every episode, there’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. We bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

The Bachelor Review imageWhat Happened

In this week’s episode, Bachelor Ben Higgins brought one group of the lady contestants to a high school aptly named “Bachelor High” to gauge their ability to conduct a science experiment that will “make Ben’s heart explode.” Some women worked better together in teams than others, and it showed dearly. One woman who lost a competition said that she would not murder her partner, but instead find a way for her to “tactfully disappear.” ABC really ran out of ideas for this episode, because not all of the games fit with the high school theme. Sure, there is a challenge where the women have a geography quiz and another where they run track, but why was there a game where they bob for apples? I don’t remember bobbing for apples in high school.

Lace from the Bachelor
Lace from the Bachelor

After the high school competition, the women all go on a group date with Higgins. During the date, one contestant named Lace decides she needs to get time with Higgins. They meet and there is no chemistry. It is uncomfortable to watch. Later, she pulls him aside when he is meeting with another woman to say that she’s not crazy, but she needs more time with him. It’s probably not a good idea on a first date to preface a conversation with a man you like by saying “Yeah, I’m not crazy but…[INSERT ANYTHING HERE].” This woman Lace is most certainly crazy.

The Bachelor may be fake and scripted in a lot of ways, but certainly not in all ways. The Bachelor is true to form in highlighting the awkward and uncomfortable nature of dating. This is evident when Higgins goes on a private date with bubbly Kayla and realizes they have nothing to talk about on their date. For whatever reason, Kevin Hart and Ice Cube join them on their date, and the two daters end up asking each other about their favorite colors in front of the celebrities. Higgins and his date go on to continue their date in a hot tub.

Later, in a separate group challenge, a second group of women goes to a science center to test their attraction and compatibility with Higgins using pseudoscientific pheromone testing. Higgins says that one woman smells “sour.” Yikes.

Learning Lessons

Photo of Olivia with Ben
Olivia with Ben

Feminine Role Model: Olivia, one of the most feminine women on the show, makes a clear connection with Higgins for the second week in a row. Her makeup is moderately applied and she is very flirty, yet not overly sexual. She laughs often and knows how to be playful with men. Best of all, she comes close enough to kiss him, but waits on him to make the final move. She knows what she is doing with Higgins, and she makes the other lady contestants nervous. In fact, they confronted her in the episode because they say it seems like “Olivia versus the rest of the house.” I predict that Olivia will go far, but will continue to piss off other lady contestants.

Being Cute, But Not Too Sexual: During the hot tub date, Kayla chose to keep things rated PG. Back in my younger days, I would have made a move to at least sit on one of Higgins’ legs in the hot tub, but Kayla refrained from that behavior. Good for her. On the down side, another contestant this episode made things Rated NC17 when she got on her knees to bobble for apples. I would not have done that on any date. Let’s keep it classy ladies.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Being Needy and Insecure: Lace is one of the saddest girls I have ever seen on The Bachelor. She constantly pulls Higgins away from talking to other women to chastise him for not paying enough attention to her. Then when they are together and alone, she dominates the conversation by talking over him, then tries to force an emotional connection with him by discussing parts of her past.

Lace comes off insecure, needy and irrational and she knows it. Higgins unfortunately also knows it, and I’m sure he keeps her around on the show for the ratings boost. Ladies, don’t be clingy with a man, and don’t try to force an emotional connection to happen. Most importantly, make sure to get a grip of your emotions―your man doesn’t need to hear about every little transgression that is bothering you. Instead, when you are feeling uptight, try talking to your girlfriends about the little things.

Being Too Forthcoming About Your Past: As we’ve discussed before, real ladies shut their mouths. Why is Kayla and Lace talking about past relationships on their dates? Kayla talked about being hurt by men twice(!) on her date with Higgins, and without any prompting from him. Never tell a man (or anyone!) about how much people have abused you in the past because you also end up telling them how you allowed people to being so disrespectful to you.

Big Mouth Girl: I like Olivia’s feminine style and grace, but she has to cool it with the giant whale mouth thing because it’s not cute. Close your mouth girl.

olivia-mouth-600x329

 

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The Bachelor Review: Ladylike Behavior

The Bachelor Review image

The Bachelor is back. How exciting! You may ask, how can feminine explorers at Ladies Again watch a show where young women compete and drool over one guy? Because we like to think about all things related to dating and relationships. The Bachelor also provides a great deal of accidental social commentary. With each episode, The Bachelor holds up a mirror to all of the confusion and bewilderment facing today’s generation of young people trying to navigate the murky waters of the mating market. There’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

Photo of Ben Higgins
Ben Higgins

This year’s Bachelor is named Ben Higgins, and he’s a tall and dark-haired software salesman from Warsaw, Indiana. He’s very handsome, much more so than last year’s country-boy bachelor. And yet, Higgins has a boy next door charm about him, but at the same time sort of gives off naughty frat-boy vibes. I’m positive that he is just an aspiring actor just like everyone else in reality television, but this season should be entertaining otherwise.

The women seem to be quirkier than usual. One contestant brought a pony to the opening ceremony; another showed up dressed in a pajama one-piece. Another nutritionist brought bread for Higgins to break and destroy. Ugh. There were a few additional minority women this season than what is typical–there is even three black women this season! Perhaps the ABC producers are heeding to public outcries about the lack of diversity on the show.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Being Too Forward: I’ve never seen a situation where a contestant asked directly for a kiss and everything went well. In my experience, it is usually best to wait for the guy to make a first move. Lace is a contestant who did not wait for Higgins to make the first move and try to kiss her, so she asked for a kiss directly and then experienced rejection when Higgins told her he felt they were moving too fast. Later she asks him “Did you even notice me, do you know my name? Hello?!” Yeah, not a good way to be feminine.

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