I love men for their strength and courage, and I think it’s unfortunate that so many of today’s mainstream bloggers and columnists seem obsessed with pointing out all of the things that men are doing wrong, such as promoting “rape culture,” objectifying women or refusing to “man up.” I am sick of seeing feminists depict men as simple-minded creatures who are only capable of raping and dominating poor and defenseless women.
If you listen to all of the anti-male rhetoric spewing out of Hillary Clinton or her online cult followers, it is easy to believe that the world would be better off if men were eliminated. The truth is that men contribute to society in profound ways. They build our roads, they build our homes, they fight to protect us in wars, they keep us safe. For instance, none of the 9/11 rescue workers were women.
I did not fully appreciate the contributions that men make to society until I took a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City. Putting my hand on the bridge, I could feel the power of the structure, and I wondered how many men risked their lives to build the bridge years ago. It turns out that between 20 to 50 men were estimated to have died from various causes while building the bridge―not a single women died, or even got injured, making the bridge. It’s easy to say that women did not make any any contributions to the development of the bridge because of historical workplace discrimination. That assumption is wrong―it has been more than 130 years since the Brooklyn Bridge first opened, and men are still taking on the riskiest jobs in the world. In the United States, more than 4,300 men died in 2014(pdf) at work, while only 359 women lost their lives at work that year. Men continue to take on the jobs women will not even consider, such as plumbing, carpentry, forestry, waste management and roofing.
Here are just a few of the ways that men contribute today to society:
We say a lot against modern feminism on this blog, and I know there are people who visit this blog and wonder why we are so hard on feminists. Many of these people probably think that feminists have good intentions and that sexism is a huge problem that needs to be addressed and without these feminists it will not be addressed.
This could not be further from the truth. This is literally as far from the truth as you could possibly get. If the truth was a point, that statement would be the farthest point from that point.
First of all, let’s talk about how the modern first world feminists got it wrong?
Those who oppose modern feminism do so because we feel that modern feminism is no longer about empowering women, but emasculating men and seeking personal attention and glory for women. Modern feminism does less for women’s rights as it does not look at the variety of issues that women specifically face in the modern times. Instead it takes uncommon issues like sexual violence perpetrated by random strangers, and unfair wages and blows it out of proportion in order to undermine men. All the while, out shining the REAL victims of sexism in the developing world who are actually actively getting violently raped and trafficked as sex workers, abused by their husbands, mutilated and massacred.
Actually, there are real issues out there with regards to unequal and unfair treatment of women, but feminists cry wolf so much that identifying REAL problems is like finding needles in a haystack of bull crap! One of the biggest issues women face now-a-days are faced by the women who have chosen to pursue roles that were traditional filled by men, especially high level business roles as well as engineering and tech fields. In such cases, there is truly an undeniable “old boys club” to overcome when it comes to navigating the work environment. Generally, this old boys club is NOT VIOLENT and you will not get raped or groped. The worst treatment you might receive is being:
not taken seriously
talked down to
Many of these things are common and an unfortunate, unconscious reaction to newcomers. Other than being flirted with, all of these same reactions are received by anyone who enters a new social environment and does not immediately “fit the mold”. These things suck, but they are not insurmountable odds.
In her book, How to Get Whatever You Want Out of Life, Dr. Joyce Brothers dedicates an entire chapter to this. Note: At no point did the good doctor say that discrimination makes it impossible for a person to achieve what the title of the book promises to teach. In fact, what she says is this:
There is no point in carrying a chip on your shoulder because of discrimination. What will help is to be aware of the problems you face and learn how to handle them.
A lot of women (especially feminists) think that if it were more acceptable for women to act like men, or if society accepted that anything men can do women can also do (including perceived sexual liberality, aggressive language and behavior, as well as rudeness), then women would feel and be empowered. However, Dr. Brothers continues:
Even the women who slip easily into the masculine (read: tomboy) work-style have more than their share of problems.
She goes on to say that the root of the problems women face is simply male fear. As I said before, with all newcomers into an established social environment, the founding members of that group will inevitably feel threatened by you. Know this, and be prepared for it. That’s all you can do.
In her chapter about addressing discrimination in the work place, she says the Divide and Conquer strategy is the best way to go about it. Often times discrimination is most prevalent in a pack mindset. However, when you get people alone to deal with them one-on-one, they tend to be more malleable and able to be persuaded. I actually learned this principle when I did door-to-door sales a few years back. We were taught that when trying to sell a product (or idea), it’s much harder to sell to a group of people (like a husband and wife) than to an individual.
Dr. Brothers goes further in this chapter by describing a woman named Candace who was treated poorly as a result of discriminatory practices. She says:
The other brokers would have nothing to do with her. Research memos somehow got “lost” before they reached her desk. Her colleagues “forgot” to tell her about staff meetings. This went on for two months. Then Candace decided to do something about it.
The way Candace applied the Divide and Conquer strategy involved isolating the co-worker that has shown her the most kindness (regardless of his intentions) and offering him flattery and a show of good-will in exchange for a favor. She asked him for advice, because according to Dr. Brothers:
She…knew that his inbred courtesy would make it difficult for him to refuse a direct request for a favor.
Here is the exact method she used:
She bought him lunch and asked for his advice on a fictitious project.
She had tailored the request to her co-worker’s specialty.
She employed the sensitive listening technique which, as Dr. Brothers describes involves:
Never letting the conversation drift into a dead end
Always helping him to talk more about himself and his interests
At the end of the two hour conversation, she thanked him for his help
And complimented him on his knowledge of the subject
Several days later, she told him his advice worked perfectly
And offered her co-worker a quid pro quo in the form of a strategic business advantage
She proceeded to repeat this same procedure with other co-workers until…
Today she is accepted by her colleagues – and she should be. She does more business than any of them.
In conclusion, discrimination is real. No doubt about that. However, it is a side effect of the human mind. There are some ideas about other people that are just plain wrong (read: lies, rumors and insults) and should rightly be corrected. However, being accepted by a group of people is not guaranteed, nor is it your right; and it definitely won’t be achieved by being pushy, arrogant or changing your nature. It is also not impossible under the right circumstances and it definitely does not happen over night!
Do you have experience overcoming discrimination? Do you think it is possible? Share your story in the comment section below!