Ladies Shut Their Mouths

Photo of couple on the beach. Image by Pexels.

I like to talk, like a lot. Especially if I’m dating a guy that I connect with. One of the best parts of being in a relationship is being able to have honest and intimate conversations with a person who knows you better than you even know yourself. But I, like a lot of young women, had to learn the hard way that everything should not be shared with a man, your coworkers or your relatives. There is such thing as polite conversation.

In her book “Commonsense Etiquette,” Marjabelle Young Stewart argues that unpleasant conversation causes undue stress to others. She writes:

I find that the best table conversations, whether for a family dinner or a formal one, are those that are of interest to most or all the people at the table and that have elements of humor or surprise. I try to avoid subjects that are unpleasant and likely to cause distress or argument. Detailed recountings of the mundane events of the day probably won’t add much to a meal, but amusing stories and bits of news will.

Etiquette bookIn other words, be pleasant. At all times. Otherwise, you close doors to potential opportunities at work and with potential suitors. Since we are concerned with relationships at Ladies Again, here are a few things you should never discuss with a man you are interested in, as long as you live:

Bodily fluids. Why do so many women want to talk to men about their periods? I do not understand the logic of being gross with your man. No one wants to date a woman who talks freely about farting, burping or vomiting after a hard night of drinking with the girls. Polite conversation is for the man’s benefit, not yours, because you do not want to make him feel uncomfortable. I know that as a woman you probably feel comfortable enough with your spouse to discuss everything about your life, but trust me, he does not ever want to hear it. Save the conversations about bodily fluids with your mom, friends or gynecologist.

Your sexual history. In When Harry Met Sally, the two main characters casually joke over lunch about their previous sexual experiences. It was a cute moment in the film, but a scene like that never happens in reality. A man never wants to hear details about your previous sexual experiences. Remember, you are lady and you need to act accordingly. It is unacceptable for you to brag about the number of men you have slept with or discuss your reckless sexually fluid past. It is disgusting to do so because you are not, and will never be, one of the guys. For many men, it is just as grotesque for a woman to discuss her sexual escapades as it is for a woman to discuss her menstrual cycle.

Always keep your number of sexual partners close to your heart. Let’s remember that ladies keep their number of sexual partners low because they do not want to get emotionally attached or impregnated by the wrong man. Therefore, you should only be thinking about having sex with men who are in committed relationships with you. Second, you should avoid any conversation about past sexual partners. In general, if your number of sexual partners is already high, you will have to lie if the conversation comes up. Remember to play coy in bed; you have never tried crazy sex positions before and you have no idea how oral sex works.

Your past relationships. It is just in bad form to discuss past relationships as it is to discuss your sexual escapades. You do not want to make your current beau feel jealous or inadequate by blabbering about your exes. Or make him feel like he is dating used goods or community property. As far as you know, your ex-boyfriend is dead to you. Also, never discuss any crazy dates you have been on. From henceforth, all ex-boyfriends are now referred to “friends.” You did not go to that wedding with your ex-fiance, you went with a friend from college. All photos and videos of you with your ex-boyfriend must be destroyed.

Did I miss any other impolite conversation topics? Let me know in the comments below.

Read more: Go Ahead. Mail That Thank You Card

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7 Signs You’ve Already Lost the Guy

Woman with smartphone.

I’m on a strict dating regime where I am looking specifically for a man who would like to be married sometime in the near future. I have never slept around frivolously, but I have certainly wasted my time dating and hanging out with men who were not serious about long-term relationships (see the alpha male I dated here). I have been on maybe 15 dates in the last month, some good, some bad. Along the way, I have learned a few lessons from men circulating in the dating world.

Above all, I have learned that a man will show you immediately if he is interested in dating you for the long-term. Likewise, a person (even a friend!) will also show you very quickly if their intentions do not match with yours. You just have to pay attention to the following signs that they are not excited about the prospect of forming a relationship with you:

If he invites you back to his place multiple times, you have already lost the potential for a relationship. A man will make up any excuse to get a woman he is interested in to his bedroom. It is a telling sign if all of his date ideas involve doing something at his house. Let’s watch a movie at my place. I have to return my motorcycle helmet. I left my wallet upstairs. There is weed at my house. I need to check on my cat. (Note: Is it bad that I once fell for that last one? I really wanted to see the cat!). A lady would have communicated at some point on the first date that you want to take things slowly. Ladies say confidently “I don’t do casual” and respectable men listen and take heed. If a man pushes your boundaries and tries multiple times to get you back to his place, then you already know that he is only after the sex. If he brings up sex at all on the first date, it is already over.

If he is annoyed by your high standards for commitment, then he is not the guy for you. This is a good thing―now you know the kind of man that you are dating up front, within the first few weeks of dating. Better to know now than to sleep with him and get emotionally and physically invested in the relationship. True ladies have sex with men who are emotionally invested in them.

If he does not make plans to see you again, he does not care if he sees you again. You met a great man and you cannot wait to see him again. But how does he feel about you really? Pay close attention to how he asks you out on a second date. A man that is really interested in you will make plans for a second date during the first date. He will already have ideas about seeing you again. A guy who feels only so-so about you will get around to following up with you when he feels like it.

If he does not call you or return phone calls promptly, he is not excited to talk to you. A man that is truly interested in you will go out of his way to call you and hear your voice. If he does not care what you are doing on the weekend, he does not actually care about you on a relationship level. An interested man wants to know what you are doing during the week; a less-interested man may only call to find out when you are going to come over to his place to have sex. A less-interested man is only calling you for his own selfish reasons because he wants to know when you are coming over to please him. Additionally, a man that is not really into you will text you rather than call you. He will text once or twice a week, if that.

If he wants to split the check every time, he is not interested in acting as a provider. If he wants to split the check with you every time, you are just someone that he is hanging out with, not someone that he wants to provide for. Worse, if he insists that you pay your fair share every time, he might be a secret white knight Feminazi in disguise.

If he disappears for days at a time, he does not care about keeping you informed about his life. You do not have to talk to your date every day, but if you do not hear from him for days at a time, then he is not really interested in you. I once dated a guy who went missing for ten days without warning. His cell phone was off and he did not return my phone calls or text messages (allegedly, he was on a business trip; the relationship ended immediately after that experience). Pay particular attention to men who pull disappearing acts because you do not want to end up, for instance, pregnant and tied to an absentee father.

If he introduces you as a friend, he is not totally committed to the idea of dating you. Relationship titles matters because it helps both parties in a relationship understand how they are connected to one another. Additionally, men tend to be protective, so a man who is interested in you wants to know that you are loyal and committed to him. If he does not want to put a label on the relationship after weeks or months of dating, then he is not completely interested in you.

If he does not want to talk about the future, then he does not care about having a future with you. Men who are interested in marriage and kids will not panic when you bring up those subjects.

When men show any of these signs, the potential for a relationship is already gone. It is then time for you to move on and begin to date someone new. So really, it is not that you’ve lost the guy, but that he has already lost you.

Read more: All You Need to Know About Fine Dining

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Did You Take the Ladies Again Heel Pledge?

Shoes, Photo by Fouquier via Flickr
Photo by Fouquier via Flickr

For the next month, we’re encouraging aspiring feminine ladies to participate in “31 Days of Heels,” our month-long event where women are taking the challenge to wear heels everyday this month. Join us in looking and feeling sexy this month! Wear your heels at work, at the club, at church and with family. They can be a low as two inches or 6-inches; wedges or stilettos! Take photo of your shoes and share your photos by using the hashtag #ladiesagain.

Why are we wearing heels this month? We’re doing this because we acknowledge the scientific fact that high heels display the female form to advantage. As the campaign gets underway, we’ll publish articles that explore the importance of high heels. Wear those heels ladies!

Contest Rules

We’re giving away items all throughout January as part of “31 Days of Heels.” The goal of this contest is to get the word out about this new movement to empower women through femininity. As you know, here at Ladies Again, we are all about accentuating women’s natural strengths. We want to (as much as possible) encourage women to love who they are as women and not try to become men, just because they feel it is the only way they can get ahead.

There is a saying that “you can’t beat a man at his own game”, and the truth is we are not going to be able to outshine men by trying to become like them. Being a feminine woman is a beautiful thing with inherent strengths. So, with this contest, we are hoping to encourage women to “take back femininity” by embracing a tried and true tradition and method of bringing men to their knees…the high heel!

That’s right, ladies. We are strutting our stuff in the month of January and getting women talking about how awesome it is to be women again. We’re getting rid of the fear and embracing the power of the feminine. It’s like Marianne Williamson’s famous quote:

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? …. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

So, shine ladies! There’s no better time! We want to encourage you to wear those heels, and feel free to share with us your stories about how wearing heels has changed your world. Are people taking notice more? Did it bring back the spark in your marriage? Did it make you feel sexy again?

The icing on the cake is that we’re giving out prizes! Yes, that’s right. This is a contest and the winners will receive Ladies Again Swag Bags! The swag bags will contain an assortment of fashion accessories, including:

  • Four pair of earrings
  • Four necklaces
  • Cute furry ear muffs
  • Bedazzled cellphone case
  • a signature fragrance spray

At the end of the month there will be a raffle drawing. Two winners will be selected. One will be selected based on the number of entries, and another will be selected via a random drawing. You can enter as many times as you like.

Swag Bag Photo
Lady’s again Rihanna “Rogue Love” signature swag bag
photo 2
Ladies again Queen Latifah “Queen of hearts” signature swag bag

There are many ways to enter the “31 Days of Heels” contest:

  1. Tweet, Instagram or Facebook a picture of your heels with the hashtag #ladiesagain (one post good for one entry and every share is another entry).
  2. Comment on any article on ladies again (each comment relevant to any blog post or conversations happening in the comment section are good for one entry…spam/random comments will have you eliminated from the contest).
  3. Share an article (using the #ladiesagain hashtag will help us track your entries, but if you don’t use the hashtag, email us at lilacblue[at]ladiesagain[dot]com with a link to your post so we can count it towards your entry).
  4. Do a blog post (write a blog post on your blog and include a link to the “31 Days of Heels” challenge). You can email us a copy of the article so we can count it towards an entry for you.
  5. Do a YouTube video that references the “31 Days of Heels” challenge on Ladies Again and put a link to Ladies Again in the description. The video, plus the link are good for two entries.

How the winner will be selected:

  • Our team will tally the scores at the end of each day and keep track of all entrants on a spreadsheet
  • Every day a leader board will be updated with the top 5 contestants and how many entries they have submitted throughout the contest
  • In the end the person with the most entries, will win a swag bag
  • The second swag bag will be distributed via a random drawing (obviously, people with more entries will be at a slight advantage)
  • The winner will be selected randomly

Miscellaneous

Creative tweets, posts, videos and blog posts may be shared via the comments section of Ladies Again (so you might earn yourself some personal publicity as well!)

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Easy Makeup Strategies for Lazy Women

Photo by Amie Fedora via Flickr

Like many many women, I am usually too busy to apply makeup on a daily basis because I am frequently rushing out of my home in the mornings to make it to work on time. I have, however, been trying my best over the past year to break my habit of skipping out on makeup application in the morning. One of the best things I have done to limit my makeup-less habit is to find simple ways to apply my makeup quickly and effortlessly. Check out beauty videos online to find helpful makeup shortcuts. Below, you will find a few of my favorite videos:

From Extra Petite:

Simple makeup tips for darker-skinned beauties:

Everyday basic makeup routine:

A classic office look:

Learn how to make your simple black eyeliner last:

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