The Bachelor: Attack of the Insecure


I think ABC executives should just change the name of the show The Bachelor to The Kisser. Why? It’s clear that the star bachelor Ben Higgins fancies kissing because he does a lot of it with the lady contestants! This may be the first season of The Bachelor where I’ve seen a man make out with several women in a short time span. As with every episode, there’s plenty of material for romance and dating junkies to dissect, review, learn and reject. Today, we bring you the hits, misses and red flags from the most recent episode.

What Happened

The episode starts with Higgins going on a private date with one contestant. He kisses her while the others watch from from a hotel room above; one woman cries when she sees Higgins kiss the other woman. Then the bachelor takes his harem of women to Las Vegas, where they have to show off their personal talents to a studio audience. One woman, named Olivia, does not have a talent and decides to wear a skimpy Vegas outfit and jump out of a cake. She goes through great pains to coordinate the cake logistics and put on her revealing outfit, but does not take any time to plan what she will do after she burst out of the cake. Instead, she stands there naked on the stage and kicks her legs haphazardly. It was awkward.

The cast of The Bachelor
The cast of The Bachelor.

Next, Higgins and a lady contestant serve as an ordained minister at a wedding chapel in Vegas for couples who have made the hasty and impulsive decision to get married at a cheesy chapel in Vegas by reality TV show stars (the state of Nevada, by the way, has the highest divorce rate in the U.S.). Higgins asks the lady contestant what’s it is like to an adult virgin and they later kiss passionately.

This season of The Bachelor is unique in that there is a set of twins on the show. How cute—incestuous twins dating and kissing the same guy! Actually, it’s not cute. Things got weird when he went to the twins’s home in Vegas and met their mother, who tried to help Higgins pick which one of her daughter’s that he wanted to continue dating. Weird. He eliminated one twin while she was sitting in her living room.

Learning Lessons

No Role Models: None of the women exhibited exemplary classy behavior this week folks.

Unlady-like Mistakes

Insecurity is not Sexy: Olivia made a fool of herself, then apologized for making a fool of herself. Then she apologized again. Then she cried on camera. Then she apologized again. Then, the next day, she gave Higgins a slice of cheesecake to apologize. If you make a mistake, own up to it, but not that much. She only needed to apologize once. Being too apologetic made her look insecure, weak and fragile. She should have laughed off her mistake, then keep it moving.

Forget About Your Ex-boyfriend: Things got pretty strange with the twins when Higgins went to one of the twins’s room and saw that it was decorated with several pictures of her ex-boyfriend. Always destroy all evidence of your ex-boyfriend. God help you if you’re divorced. Otherwise, your new beau will feel like he is competing with the person you used to date. No one wants to feel second-best, so get rid of all photos and memorabilia from the days your were with your ex-boyfriend.

Learn How to Walk in Heels: When one contestant, named Amber, was eliminated from the show, she took off her heels and walked away from the rose ceremony barefoot. I HATE seeing women who either cannot walk in high heeled shoes or choose to walk down the goddamn street barefoot. A few rules: First, if you cannot walk in high heels gracefully, do not wear heels. Second, if you want to learn how to walk in heels, start with low-heeled shoes first. Finally, choose to wear thick wedge shoes lieu of spiky stilettos, since the wedge shoes will give you more foot support. Learn more about walking in heels with our article “Science Shows: High Heels do not Oppress Women, They Make Us Awesome!”

Read more: Did You Take the Ladies Again Heel Pledge?

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Science Shows: High Heels do not Oppress Women, They Make Us Awesome!

Heel_Photo by Adrigu
The Repentant Testimony of a Manolo Convert: A fashion fairy tale that tells the truth about high heels
The Repentant Testimony of a Manolo Convert: A fashion fairy tale that tells the truth about high heels

It’s Wednesday! That means today’s article is going to focus on the topic of our Book of the Month.

This month’s book is in honor of our “New Year, New You” promotion: 31 Days of Heels!

It’s funny, everyone uses that phrase “new year, new you”, but very few people can actually deliver on the promise of offering a person a solution that will actually produce a physiological effect in the way they are perceived by others.

That’s why we’ve chosen to focus on the high heel for this promotion, because it’s one of the quickest non-medical procedures that have been scientifically proven to be an empowerment tool for women.

It’s sounds incredible, but just quickly slipping on a pair of Jimmy Choo’s can not only increase a woman’s sex appeal, but also her power to influence. That is what evolutionary psychology researcher, Dr. Nicholas Gueguen found in his 2014 paper entitled: “High heels increase women’s attractiveness” which is summarized here.

That was also the backdrop of chapter three of “The Testimony of a Manolo Convert” entitled “The Jimmy Choo effect”. In the book we find out what happens when the protagonist, Rebecca Sharp, finds herself living out a real life version of Dr. Gueguen’s experiment.

Writing that chapter was fun for me, because I have a really scientific mind and I thought it would be fun to write an experiment so perfect that it had the fewest possible variables imaginable.

I’m really curious to know what other readers thought of that chapter. If you’re reading along share your thoughts below in the comments or email us at lilacblue[at]

And if you haven’t picked up your copy of “The Repentant Testimony of a Manolo Convert” yet, click the link in our library section on the side bar or find it on Amazon so you can join the conversation while it’s still going on!


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